Navigations are at the top.
yahooo!!! WEEEE`~** XD
spm is almost...almostttt over!
all the tough subjects that need studying r finished! ^^
sooo relieved now...
today its bio...
it's still a rainy day huh? from the time i slept this morning till the time i woke up
it's still raining!! b4 i go to sleep...all the way through my sleeping...n after i woke up @@"
then it was drizzling...but when i started my paper 1 it started to rain heavily again =.=
hmm...i read bio form 4...n some form 5...but then cant remember @@"
last nite flipped through nia...but then...
paper 1 got 10 ques not sure!! *sobzzz T.T* lost 10 marks there jor
it's ...not that hard not that ez bah...
then paper 2...goshhh!!!! i was sweating man @@"
structure part was blardy hard =.=...
ask about how enzyme helped in cooking meat =.=
i was like huh? got read b4 mer? ><"
n it was all soooo detailed n soo tricky...
essay was not bad bah...same ques as my trials paper...
still can do ^^ but then structure alot wrongs i think *sobbzzzz T.T*
i guess i manage to get half nia...maybe even less than that...WAAAA T.T
oh yeah...whole time it was raining heavily!!
i can even feel the rain spray on me...
during the paper 1 n paper 2 break...i sat at the side of the ermm bridge?
then i was soooo wet !! my whole pinafore is wet! n i m sooo cold ><"
after that it was paper 3...but luckily it had stopped raining
but bio not that many experiment to study i guess...
just flipped through...last min i saw a ermm...osmosis experiment
i was like...oh yeah...havent read this...faster refresh!!
n whoaaa...the essay is the same question XD
happie happie XD but they wanted jisim rather than panjang...
but i figured if it's isotonic...panjang wont change means jisim oso wont change
then mar use the same 1 lor ^^ it's better than create my own 1 n screw everything up =P
erhh...apart from some mistakes....i guess i did alright...
n ohh...question 1 =.= all science n maths papers r in double language...bm n english
had it been only bm...i wouldn't have knew how to answer 1 question!
lolz..they asked about gajus...i was like...harh? wat's gajus? ><" nvr hear b4 de..
then i read the english part...cashew nut =.= lolzz....
oh yeah...the rain stopped...but then when we started answering
suddenly there's a downpour =.= heavy heavy rain...
out of no where...its like all of a sudden...bisshhh!! n everybody was staring outside...
even the examiner too...we were like...wat the =.= n they were smiling...lolzz
then i m done XD....the tough tough subjects r finally over!! weeee~
it's funny ya know...there's such a strong wind today...
although i like it...but then while i was walking down the stairs after paper 3
i was almost blown away by the wind!! @@"
the wind was soo soo strong that i almost fell down the 1st time...paisehh ><"
then i can feel my body lean to 1 side...trying to fight the force ><
didnt know i was so thin ><"
anywayzzzz...weeee...
friday last day...hmm although EST sounds ez...
but last year not many got A...n it's hard to score...
no choice la ><" c luck lor...sobzz
after this...*evil grin /gg* wakakakaka~
my secondary school life is sooooo over XD
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
好久没用华语了...
通常我在心情低落时才会用华语...
可能因为华语比较能表达我的心意吧...比较有感情
现在下着好大好大的一场雷雨...
我好怕...好怕...
好像某些人跟那雷一样那么的生气我...
我真的很难过...
我以为我是那么的任性...没有多少人可以忍我
因为我隔几天就会无端端的发脾气...
就是那么的一阵子...事过后我就在想我为何会那么想...
可是没有人了解我...
我更没想到他也是那样...两个谁都不让谁....
不知该怎么办...
SPM -Day 8-
bloggieee...
i wanna die edi...
maybe rest for too long...haiz u know me la...
wont study till last min de...i figured i had all week to do it
but at last =.= keep putting off till last min...
paper 1....hard like hell
dowan to say edi la....i was soo uncomfortable
so hungry...got gastric somemore...
then the paper so hard...make me so stressful
then paper 2....by that time i got gastric jor
somemore i got nausea...wanna vomit ><"
i can already feel the puke at my throat @@" so hot n spicy n sour...eee yucks
but the paper was ez...
surprisingly i knew how to do almost all...except the sabun part la...
nvr read @@"
essay was...good...
but i still no mood...my face was soooo frowned @@"
paper 3 worse!! that time my intestines were turning
no mood to study jor...n i nvr read aloi
mana tau came out =.=
zzzz.....i did the paper i really beh tahan...i think my experiment wrong
then i left early...
really beh tahan le @@" if not i gona faint there
tmr bio ohhh....2nd last paper!!
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Guild war..
XD although i quit ro...but im still partly playing it...lolz
during guild war as in...
i dont know about anything else jor...dont care about guild affairs...politics...economics...just wanna have my fun n break castle XD
today...hmm wah...loki de acc also no credit...
so i had to ask my bro to buy daily for me @@"
hmm...lolz we were all in 1 new guild...'Memories of Ethos'
wakakakaka...we were too bored that time...
cuz not in Ethos ><" so they wanna make new guild
we thought of ermm...some insulting guild names that includes 'bastards n stupid n idiot'
but then must be polite =P so we put 'Memories of Ethos' lor XD
erm kinda hard to break castle though...
cuz we dam lag...other ppl faster than us...when we go in they break jor
hmm...then we aimed adb 6...Adexcel defending...
2 times we went in we died ><" cuz no marc....n dam lag...
then 3rd or 4th time we went in...they lanci us...keep /e9
then cele died ><" saki dono where @@" i managed to cloak through...
with 2 champs 1 sinX n 2 wiz chasing me @@"
i was like...run run run run!! keep avoiding asuras...
then kyoshiro was using mmhousek...he devo me XD
wah syok....all the while i was hitting emp....
1 wiz sg me 1 wiz jt me....1 champ n 1 monk asura me...then another champ asura him...
somemore 1 sinX soul break me n 1 sin crit me...
somemore got ws n h priest @@" 10++ ppl liddat hitting us
wahseh...dam lucky he nvr die...i keep hit hit hit!!!
i think he kena alot alot alot asuras...i keep seeing the Asura word...but still standing XD
then at last...he sacrifice the wiz so i wont get frozen...then he died!! T.T
left me...i was like */omg* die lorrr...then they kill me!! i died T.T
butttt....before i died...i broke!!!! WEEE~!!!
dammm syok man....10++ ppl oso cannot kill us...weeee~
then we went around breaking i guess?
somemore i wont 1 gtb gr sinX XD~
oh last min we went to prt 7
last mins we break the guild n join back original Ethos...
rebellions defending...i was repairing armor...
cele n saki n kyo geng XD they 3 ppl sapu all of them...
then EC me XD...i fai fai break XD weee~ that time was 854 i guess?
hmm...then we defend lor @@"
then they came back again...syok ahh...i edp crit ppl they died
their sinX n ws died XD wee but i died to a champ ><"
cuz i dont have devo...i scared later he died ><"
so hmm...they managed to defend XD
syok man~ this war is soo fun....except the lag of cuz =.=
3rd december dono how ><" @@"
sighh...dont have mood to play ro jor...
just that war is sometimes fun nia ><
Friday, November 25, 2005
Traitor...
well...im supposed to let it go...
but then i dono how come nowadays i kept thinking of it...
hmm...the feelings are...wat can i say? faded...it's replaced by a feeling of hatred...
it's not like me to hate anybody...
even if that person made me mad or wat...i will hate him/her for like a few days...
then the feelings r gone...i just feel neutral...
but this is different...
everytime i m forced to think of that...i will feel...angry...
u know how it feels like being backstabbed? being betrayed?
yeah that's how...
now i know how it felt like when ur relationship is destroyed by a third party...
well maybe we cant fully put the blame on 3rd party...maybe there was something in the process that we did that made them like another person...
it's me to bless them...but
i still cant help but feeling betrayed...
hahazz...ah ben reminded me de...
seems like his story is similar to mine too...n he told me all that i was like goshh~
maybe i should feel that much hatred like him...
it's weird ya know...sometimes i feel normal n yet sometimes i feel dam angry
bahh...who cares....at least i know i'm better now
it takes time to fully wipe away the feelings...cant believe i still care about that...u know who
hmm...suddenly thought about that line from Memories
'Lookin at my life today and im alright yes i okay...now i see the world in a better way...
All i know yes i know that i can make it through'
must thank someone oh XD thx alot....muaxxxx~ xoxo <3
Thursday, November 24, 2005
SPM -Day 7-
ermm...lolz i was supposed to post this yesterday...
but i was sooo tired after my add maths ><" anywayz...get on with it... ermm i never really slept @@" was up almost all night 'studying' add maths... sigh...maths is a thing u can only master if u keep practicing... n wat have i been doing? NOTHINGGGG....sighh~ so the 1st paper...it was....well...easy.... really easy ><" but the thing is...those that i dont get it... i really dont get it ><" i hate trigo...that question really wrong jor... my pembezaan n pengamiran too @@" sigh....for everybody else they were like...wahh so ez!! can do all... i was the only 1 with the sad face ><" then after that i was tooo tired.... i slept with my contact lens!! ><" too too tired jor wanna read oso no energy... paper 2.... it was...ermm...okay i guess... not enough time!!! my nombor index was wrong ><"
n then i wanted to do penyelesaian segi tiga...got 15 mins left
but i was soo panicky...i cannot think @@"
so i gave up...n checked others...
errrr.....then my pengaturcaraan linear wrong oso =.=
i drew the wrong line!!! eeshhh...
n there was a trigo n a pembezaan ques too...got wrong on those @@"
nvm la...i think i can get a C or a B i guess...sighh
then after i went back...my fren's msn nick was...'fuck....#@$@$@%$%#@'
i was like wat's wrong? u did badly?
she was like nop...no time to do although she can do all =.=
i was like ........
n she only didnt know how to do a few!! wat's so to fuck about
then she argued with me on 1 question...
says there that we cant use ogif way....
but i was using the rumus...the rumus is for general!! y cannot use??
she said the rumus is for ogif =.=
somemore argue until keep 'fuck u'
over edi argue for wat wor =.=
aiyahh...oso lazy to argue jor...wat for wor...
she goes to the tuition they got other ways thats y =.=
y must i follow? n how come those ppl think tuition is everything?
heck la...anywayz im playing ro de private server XD
was soo happy last nite cuz i got an alice ^^
weee~ i tried to catch the other day but there was no alice taming item ><"
dark snake lord didnt drop it...sobzzz T.T
then i was so sienz waiting for someone...that gm held an event
by the time he finished annoucing i had all the items needed for his scavenger hunt XD
then as soon as he told his coordinate i went n deal him ^^
then he gave me an alice....with full loyalty XD weeee~
i got an alice at last......sooooo happy XD
well i thought i wasnt playing anymore...but sometimes its fun hunting pets n such XD
cele lorrr....wanna lanci me...say c who catch zherlthsh 1st...
/gg at last i caught 1st XD wakakaka... =P
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
1123~
keke....today is 1123 ohh ^^
this number very lucky for me XD
my b'day also almost the same number~
memorable day <3<3
*1123*
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
SPM -Day 6-
harlo bloggie...
today it's moral...
dono how to say...maybe its ez that's y my expectation high @@"
dont get A will really disappoint me ><"
ahh...i memorized all the 36 nilais and their definations last nite with twinkie XD
after that read abit akta then sleep jor...kinda tired
but i dont have form 4 moral text book so i dono ><"
then hor...wahseh dam suey...
i went to school i saw about the Akta under Akta Perlindungan Pengguna...
so i was like...wahh so detail n so hard @@" dowan memorize la...heck
then i memorized others
aiyah...then u know la wat happened ><" ~
>> Namakan 2 akta di bawah Akta Perlindungan Pengguna 1999
=.=....faint...really faint...
that 1 2 marks gone...
then there was a general knowledge ques....Dato' Malik sth sth Mydin and Datuk Azhar Mansor did wat for M'sia?
i was like...eeeeee i only know Datuk Azhar Mansor...cuz that time i got follow his story ^^
at least i get 1 mark there ><" later only found out that Malik swam the English Channel...haizz...
others were...i dono how to say @@" most of them not enough space to write
although i can do all but then i not confirm de ><"
dono my answers correct anot...
dono to say okay or bad...haizz
essay we r supposed to do only 2...but i had 1 hour left @@"
so i did the 3rd 1...
faint la...all the essays r around the same nilai 1...
all of them got nilai saling membantu dan bekerjasama @@'
i think i wrote that nilai n its defination for 5 times jor!! wat the ><"
dono wat's wrong...faintttt
haiz....that's all for today...
tmr add maths...im sooo gona die
i suxxxx in add maths...especially pembezaan and pengamiran...
wish me luck oh @@
chaoz`
zzzzzz~
Dear bloggie,
y izit that human is so hard to understand? damn it...
i m so dam frustrated now...
i understand...i know those of u who knew me long enough will know that in the past i've made outstanding achivements...
n so u r under impression that i'm smart and i can do it...
well...it's not the same this time...IT IS NOT!!!
y do u guys have to force me to say this out?
maybe in the past i did well cuz i really DID work hard for it...i did study i did work hard and i did well in those exams....
but humans cant be smart forever right?
i know my mistake...i know i did wrong...i know that my results slipped...
so pls...if i told u i nvr do well....just trust me okay?!
u dont have to constantly remind me of my mistake by
'aiyah...u so smart...sure can 1 la...'
'aiyooo...for u nothing de la....for other ppl dam hard but for u dam ez'
'wahh...u do badly? for u its impossible'
wahlau eh...u know how i felt when i saw those sentences?
since i started playing ro my results really slipped n i've become lazier n lazier...
and i didnt really work hard for my exams....
i really DID NOT...i know okay? cuz i only start to study the night before...
n most of u will be like saying i can do it while i CANT
well maybe it's because im mad of myself...
yeah...mostly im mad of myself cuz i nvr worked hard of it...
but cant u ppl be at least abit helpful by STOP SAYING i can do it?
when somebody says that they cant...just believe them la pls...
u know how much it hurts when u guys put sooo much hope on me
while i know i cant! i really cant...
ppl will change....things will deteriorate...
and i know that my results aint gonna be good cuz of my performance in the past 2 years....
so if u wanna be helpful...
stop saying 'aiyah u dam smart sure can' and start saying 'do ur best'
just a simple good luck will be enough...
dam it i really hate it when i know i CANT while u guys keep saying i can...
zzzzzz so stop the nonsense okay?
im not the smart straight A's student anymore...
if im smart and i dont work hard for it...i wont get good results either...
so im just doing watever i can to get average results...
and im very straightforward....when i really can do it i will brag about it...
when i really cant....stop hurting me by constantly saying i can for SPM...
this SPM i really cannot do it le...
it's my fault...not blaming any of u...
it's my fault n i have to bear it alone but pls dont make it worse...
thx for ur time~
Monday, November 21, 2005
Go the distance
lolz...dono how come everytime when i hear this song i will be touched XD
everytime i hear i will be reminded of hercules n how strong n brave he is XD
enjoy the lyrics lor ~ kinda an inspiration for me ^^
Go The Distance
Micheal Bolton
I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome
Would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday
I can go the distance
I will find my way
If I can be strong
I know every mile
Will be worth my while
When I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road
To embrace my fate
Though the road may wander
It will lead me to you
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It may take a lifetime
But somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back
I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track
No I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope
But I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance
And my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star
I can go the distance
I will search the world
I will face its harms
I don't care how far
I can go the distance
TillI find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...
I will search the world
I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Football~
weee....long time nvr enjoy watching football edi XD
well i used to watch football every saturday when i was in form 1 till form 4...
after playing ro i nvr watch edi ><" sigh...i forgot how much fun it was
until today XD
today it's charlton vs mU ^^ n since i had nothing to do
i watched lor...i couldnt watch the 1st half cuz my mom was watching a movie ><"
but it was mU 1 charlton 0... keke~
then i was watching n suddenly!!! charlton scored!!!!
ARGHHH.....i was like...dam...i think i scream dam loud @@"
he doesnt look like he was gona score...just normal passes n suddenly he scored ><"
faintt....haix...then i was like...aiyoohh gona lose again...
then i nvr paid attention...i saw rooney atking...then when he passed the ball to ruud only i @@"!!
then nistelrooy scored!!!!!!!! YAY~~!!!!
i was like 'AHHHH~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!' n i was jumping up n down till i can hear XD wahahahaha...
that goal dam chun....i was sooo happy that time...really forgot wat its like when ruud scored XD it was sooo syok...
then he scored again XD weeeee~!! that is y he's my favourite football player ^^
well i got to know about mU from my bro in law...cuz since i was a child he was already together with my sis....n he was a big big manU fan...
whenever he comes he will tell about football to my bro n i will be listening...
then when i go to their house there will be posters of beckham n official manU magazines ^^ then i watched those manU games with him...
since then all i knew about was manU...lolxx....
n when i watched nistelrooy scored i admired him <3>
but i nvr really took notice of him...i jus knew he was a superb goal scorer...
then form 2 that time i played hangman with my friend...it was my turn to guess n she gave me a hint....a geng goal scorer...
that name was familiar...then i guessed it correct - Ruud Van Nistelrooy ^^
since then i like to watch him play XD n im still enjoying watching him play XD
today's 2 goals from him was syok ^^
then form 3 that time i was close with a guy from st john...
we had lots n lots to talk about cuz he was a manU fan too ^^
every game we will me sms-ing XD but he's only my friend ^^
gosh i missed those times...
but then i wont bet de lor...dont like to bet =P just like to watch manU...
not interested in other teams as well...keke~
maybe i should watch more ^^ fun sia~
ohh i remembered a song... ^^
'Glory glory man united....glory glory man united...
Glory glory man united...when the reds go marching on on on !!'
wakakaka...siao edi me XD i go sleep le...nitezzz
Saturday, November 19, 2005
saturday...
today i woke up dam late @@"
i woke up at 951 am...then slept back...then woke up every hour after that ><"
dono wat's wrong with me...cuz last nite was playing till 6am
faint...slept too much...now abit dizzy...
was suppose to study bio!!!! faintz...i think i will start after mU game<3>
just now i did nothing much...
oh yeah...i went to guild war ><" frost de credit no more jor @@"
so i had to use another 1....ahh no edp no pots....faint la how to break
somemore today im really alone...
at 1st ...so hard to break...it was raining n i was dc-ing every 5 mins...
but syok XD 1st castle i broke...i went in
then i was alone there breaking...then horizon's lk guild leader came in
then he cast emergency call...while i was hitting...
i wonder how come i nvr go break the cast @@" when he cast finish only i hit him
but then i faster go back break!!! then ppl strip me T.T
but then XD WEEE~!! i broke jor.....wakakakakaka ^^
then 2nd 1 oso syok....i was soo tired of adb cuz owiz got ppl aim so i went to prt...
i went to creamhilt i think...ermm there was a guild defending...they saw me @@"
n chased me around with ruwach while i cloaked...i wait wait
i know i cannot break by myself ><" there were champs n all @@"
then 2 sinX from 2 diff guilds came in...i hid in the corner while they tried to kill them
then they both breaking...then i faster edp n break!!!! *evil grin /gg*
we 3 hitting with 10 ppl hitting us...then i broke XD WEEE~!!
dam syok man XD so sucky de sinX oso can break castle...soemmore win other ppl ler XD dam fun ^^
oh yeah...someone logged in mmhousek..i didnt know who...wasnt frankie...cuz he was eating pizza....but i dont care lor
then i ran out of sp...so i was sitting down in front of svanhilt...
when suddenly...i sat up n a 'Please Wait' msg came out @@"
i was like oh nooo....he casted emergency call...
i was warped to yolbriger...then i ask who r u lor @@" he said shhh...after i broke he said cya then logged off =.=
who is that ahh?!!!! i wanna know!! u know i dam curious de
so if u're reading this...tell me lorrr!!!
at last...i aimed wrong castle...all the castle i aim got heavy def...
cannot break sia...left 2 mins i oso lazy jor....nvm la
get castle oso no use....i had fun enough XD
oh yeah...later 11pm mU vs Charlton...
long time nvr watch football jor <3<3
post the results here later XD
Friday, November 18, 2005
Feelings...
sigh...bloggie arhh...
so hard to be human...everything we say out we must think of other ppl's feelings...
how good izit if we can just say out wat we want without anything to think of?
sighz...
there's lots of things i wanna type out here...
i really wanna type out all my feelings...
but then i scared when certain ppl read le...will hurt them ><"
how i wished this is my diary n nobody would read it...
but sometimes humans just need to let out how they feel ><
if any of u reads this n it hurts ur feelings or wat...
i wanna say sorry ><"
i didnt mean to hurt anyone...its just how i feel...
nowadays i feel...i just feel so lonely...
sometimes when im alone in my bed...i will start to think of things...
i dono how come i cannot let go...
i thought i should be letting go of that...
however these few days...its like all coming back to me..
coming back to haunt me...i know i have no more feelings le...
but those memories really hurt me...
it really hurts...
i was thinking...i really dont want anybody to treat me good anymore...
maybe its best that i...
haiz....i hope time can wipe out those feelings...
really really sorry if i hurt anyone...
Thursday, November 17, 2005
SPM -Day 5-
omg....i m sooooo gona knock my head on the wall!!!
i really wanna die jor....
stupid me!!!
today is physics...
paper 1 is....easy...to tell the truth its really really ez n straightforward
BUT THEN u know la...for me...i nvr read the form 5 part
so the whole form 5 part i tembak....zzzzz dowan say le
i think got 9 wrongs T.T sobzzzz~
paper 2...this 1 i really wanna die....
i posted here b4...about my trials physics paper...
i said that i dam suey....i read about the ketumpatan in the ocean n the river
but i nvr really remember...then came out!!!! @@"
then the hidrometer too...i read read abit...then dont get it =.= then i think think...haiyah wont come out la...heck
how i know essay came out!!!! sheesshhhh...lost 10 marks there!!!
then hor...last nite i saw back...then i was thinking...wont so ngam come out de...
then i just glance through
when i open my essay part.....fucking shit!!!!!!! *sorry rude =P*
wahseh..exactly the SAME question as my trials paper
ask us about ketumpatan...n design a hidrometer....dammit laaa!!
i dono how to do edi....SOB T.T
i was like goshhh............dammit !!
somemore ah...when i read the cahaya part...i lazy to memorize the telescope thingy
today came out must draw...sigh.....whole part wrong again....
so for my essay part im getting 0/20....die jor
somemore structural part...i dono how to do the get logik....dono A THING
my fren said if come out how...then my other fren answered...leave it blank la
=.= fainttt......really gona die
paper 3....still ok bah...cuz i managed to read about that particular experiment
n then i kinda did okay....
count count...
paper 1 40 + paper 2 20 + paper 3 10
I ONLY GET 70!!!!! SOBZZZZ T.T
not even A2 in my school.....WAAAAAA T.T
dowan say le...nx paper tuesday....sighzzz
nx week not that stress...moral n add maths...sobzzz T.T
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
SPM -Day 4-
hmm...hi bloggie...
today only maths...nothing much...
at least not as tiring
my maths paper 1 was in the morning...
when i open d paper hor...i was like @@"
how come so many i dono de ><"
i nvr read the basic part...i only read the important ones...instead >"<
some questions really confused me @@"
but then i managed to do all of it in time...n double check...
n by that time i thought of how to do jor...
well...i checked with alot of my friends...
n i got no mistakes!! XD ~ so happyyyyy *weeee~!! YiPpY ^^~
lolz...nvr think i will get 40/40 for paper 1 XD
happie happie...
then i went home...supposed to sleep but then @@" slack till afternoon
nvr study oso...bad bad gurl */e5*
afternoon de paper...in front was ez....
very basic...nonit to think de...just do nia ><"
at the back oso ez...
well there's 1 part in the penjelmaan that i couldnt do...then i got it le i guess? ><"
hmm...then pelan...i skipped the bumi...i sux in that chapter...
i had just enough time to check...yawnzz
liddat lor...at least im glad that my maths paper did well
tmr physicssssss!!!!!!!!!!! im soo dead...
i sux in physics...especially electric and electronic part...
n there's sooo many things to memorize + soo many concepts to understand...
to think of it...i dont pay attention to teacher in class...i dont go tuition...n i dont do revision at home...sighzz~ now only i wanna start learning
i m such a lazy pig....
i go sleep le lor...tonite stay up again XD
yawnzzz~ chaozz
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
SPM -Day 3-
Phew...Day 3 came and gone...
i m sooo exhausted n i feel so nauseated ><"
well...i was suppose to stay awake n study sejarah last nite..
but i fell aslp at 730pm n only woke up at 3am!!! @@"
i was like die lor...my sejarah is soo dead...
i havent touched a thing! n how m i gona do essays n stuctural questions??
but i flipped though the soalan ramalan by selangor teachers ><"
but i nvr read much...nothing went in my mind
so yeah...i went to school n sat for my english paper 1...
well i should be happy cuz i love writing essays...especially stories...cuz i've got ideas XD
then i flipped open the paper...ahh...there's not 1 that i can write
but i chose the Describe the biggest challenge in ur life...
i was like...shitz...this morning i took so long to find for my trial paper but i couldnt find it...i had a feeling i might need to use some phrases in there...mana tau =.=
so i re wrote wat i wrote for my trial papers...changed here n there abit...and voila! im done...
but im scared though....about 350 words n i used 4 full pages @@"
n i dono whether i will out of topic anot ><" sobbzzz T.T
then english paper 2....i had si tenggang's homecoming notes...lots of it...
but i ignored it...then that poem came out =.= cant really answer...jus crap
even though it was not that hard...the whole time my mind was thinking about sejarah!!!!
wat about my sejarah later...i dont know a thing! n other ppl seemed so prepared...i was nervous about sejarah =.=
i knew i had lots n lots of time...so i took my time...really did slowly...
by the time i finished my novel it was 1210...n there were ppl getting up n leaving...
so the examiner said if u finished u can leave now...but after 1215 u cannot leave...
i was like...i dont wanna waste 30 mins here staring at the ceiling when i could be studying for sejarah!!
so i quickly circled the part A part...and i fliped to check that i have done all...
then i left XD but then i still feel uneasy ><"
i scared i left out some part n circled wrong for part A ><" sobbzz T.T
i went home n i finished my lunch very quickly @@" just swallow the whole dam food...i think that's the reason i felt like vomitting now ><"
i read read then i gave up le...my head was aching soo hard @@"
n when i reached school i was like holding my puke!!
i tried so hard not to vomit =.= n i had no more will to continue cramp...
gave up n leave it to fate bah
Sejarah 2.....surprisingly...really surprisingly...
i did not bad XD well...although its not that i can confirm all...
but based on my lazyness n that i nvr read at all!! i can say i did quite well ^^
all of the questions i read b4...n i flipped through...
there was none that i couldnt answer...although some i really simply crap wat i think...
lucky sia...b4 that i flipped about china de exam...i just read abit n memorized the names....had a feeling it would come out..then really came out in the essay part XD
n then as i wrote...i remembered more @@" n ideas kept coming out ^^
then there was this sumbangan Rom...i had to write that 1 cuz i couldnt write the other 2...
when i wanna write those points my mind was a total blank =.=
*blank blank* couldnt think of 1...but then hor...as i wrote...
i got more ideas again XD its like automatically appear de the ideas...
somemore i got the idea from a computer game i played...
its about Julius Caesar and his empire...seeee...computer games bring benefits too *evil grin /gg*
most of those essays i got points...n i used 4 papers!! each of the pages is full!! write too much hand pain sia ><"
but then hor...i didnt know how to do 1 question...sigh...then i got a few mistakes
but overall im glad XD at least i can pass or get grade C
i didnt read oso can do ^^ sooo lucky...must thank god jor XD
tmr is mathss....at least not that tough bah...
hope i can do all ><" cuz i want an A for that paper!! nvr get A really xia sui @@"
thursday physics arhh!! cramp physics now!!
Monday, November 14, 2005
SPM -Day 2-
I am so freakin dead...
today's paper was sooooo toughh~~!!!!!
my hands r still shivering now n i have no more energy left @@"
meanwhile as i rest after today's long long day....i blog out bah ><"
1st paper today was BM...
i tell u ah...last nite i was SOOO LAZY...i never even prepared A THING...
u c i was sleeping since 5pm....n i didnt wanna woke up till 12am...
n then when twinkie went to sleep...i slept again...@@"
wat the ><" i oso dono how come i soooo piggie...i slept till 4am only wanna wake up
n START studying....this is sooo insane...
my paper was in 4 hours time n i still havent started a thing??? HELLO??!! wat the hell is wrong with me!!
nvm la i flipped through sejarah abit n read a few bm essays...
but then...when i answered my bm paper...
it was....ahh expectable...but i nvr read ><"
funny thing is...b4 that i flipped though a few essays about pendidikan di keluarga...
n i was like 'heck lah...not important'
when i saw the question i was like...'omgg!!!!'
but i still managed to crap few things...n time management was okay...
then 2nd paper...sejarah paper 1!!!!!
wahseh...cannot believe for 1 whole month i nvr study sejarah AT ALL....
i nvr pay attention to teacher in class so i dont know wat the heck is in form 5 ><"
sux la...last nite i read abit nia...but only those really shallow part...
the paper was tough ><" but i could have answered few more ques if i read...
sighh...if i read it will be easy de....i got few questions confirm wrong jor...
add add together...i only get 20/40!!! WAAAA *Sobbbzzzz T.T*
well then it was lunch time...i was so hungry by then ><"
n so depressed n stressed n headache n sleepy n tired n exhausted n....u name it ><"
i went back home n i was soooo 'mang zhang' i rushed everything ><"
i bathed quickly...n i ate my lunch quickly too...
i nvr even chewed the food to bits n swallowed it in big pieces @@"
makes me wanna puke after that...sighh~ then i read some komsas...n novel
but then i really wanna give up jor
by the time i was preparing to sit BM paper 2...i was sooo freakin sleepy
i kept yawning n yawning n every word i read couldnt get into my mind =.=
took me 5 mins for my brain to register wat's going on...EXAM!!! CONCENTRATE!!
but then the paper was super tough!!!! siao de lor ><"
1st time my bm paper 2 i not enough time to finish
rumusan = dead...pemahaman still ok ok ><"
tatabahasa = super dead...6 marks gone in the bina ayat part....6 marks again gone in the peribahasa...i dont even know a thing although it seems familiar ><"...i think hor i will only get 1 or 2 marks there ><" sobbzzz T.T
n then novel part...that time i had 40 mins to finish it...so i figured still lots of time
so i had lots of points...although i didnt know its correct anot ><" just crap la!!
then i wrote alot for the a) part...left 20 mins for the b) part...
well...i m a very ermm panicky person...when i saw i m left with 15 mins n i m only halfway through...i panicked!!!
wahseh...my hands were shivering like hell...n my palms were sweaty...
my pen kept slipping from my fingers!!! its like every few words i had to take tissue paper n wipe of the sweat n adjust the pen.....my words were soooo messy...n i didnt know wat the hell i was writing ><" its like i cannot write at all...sobbzz HELPP!!
but then i still managed to finish in time...no time to check @@"
i saw my fren couldnt finish ><" n the examiner was like pulling her paper while she kept on writing *lolzz =P*
well...as much as i'd like to sleep....i cant...
i should really get some rest now...but my brain is repeating - tomoro is SEJARAH 2!!!!
i m soo dead for not reading anything at all...n i cant remember anything...
i guess i must go n rest n start reading later @@"
goshh...now only i wanna start panic...siao de me ><"
wish me luck for tomoro's paper ohh~
till then....chaozz-
Sunday, November 13, 2005
smart....stupid...
sighh...i really dono wat to say about myself...
although i m a slacker...but at least during important exams i would study like few weeks b4 the exam....
but then now? @@" I ONLY WANNA START 1 DAY BEFORE THE EXAM....
dam....i had 3 weeks...3 weeks of holidays....
n what did i do? cry...cry...cry...think of stupid n dumb things...
this morning when i woke up i was sooo angry with myself...
its too late edi...that 3 weeks is gone....
this makes me think of something....
when i was form 2...i had a guy friend...a close friend of mine
he was sitting for his SPM that year...
well before that he was ermm he wanted to kau me ><" although i liked him alot...i didnt wanna be with him...probably cuz i was too young ><" well he waited for a year i guess @@"
n then b4 he had his SPM i heard rumours that he had a gf =.=
well he said he had...n during that time i was ermm hardworking *sighh*
so i kinda told him ><" how come u wanna have a gf at this time? y before spm ler? its gonna spoil ur results....n i kept saying him @@" well 1 part of me was abit jealous ><" but then another part was for his own good...
n when his spm results came out...he nvr gotten even an A...
he was top student in his school...1st class n good results...n nvr even get an A =.=
goshh..that's bad...n in my heart i was thinking...sighh~ i told u...
u should have wait till after SPM only start with that gurl...
n now? I m going through the SAME THING!! same!!!
y didnt somebody scold me? n mine was worse....
i got heart broken before SPM n i couldnt study....goshh...
at 1st i was still thinking whether anot i should be with him...
but then sometimes when u like someone...u wont care about anything...
n these few years im not that nerdy anymore ><"
but then...see la...~
now i got my revenge....the same thing happened...except mine was much worse
cuz he was with that gurl for a few years... dono they still together anot? ><"
now i got to taste my own medicine....zzzzz~
i really dono wat to say about myself...
how cant i be strong? how come i m so weak?
darn...3 weeks wasted just like that!
i used to be top student too...b4 i started really playing ro...
during my 1st exams in form 4....i got highest marks for almost every subject....especially the science subjects....90...96...98...100...
n they were */omg* all the teachers were praising me n all my frens were in awe
n somemore those form 5 seniors were like coming to me n say
'wahh how come u can get so high 1....chemistry n add maths n bio n physics impossible to get so high de worr...u dam smart la'
i even beat the top student in school....
but now? my frens were like saying to me
'loan ping ah...how come ur results slipped till so terrible?'
'i used to admire u alot de...u being the top student n so smart...i used to look up to u n wanna learn from u...how come u r not like that anymore? mei chi said it is because of u addicted to playing RO'
i dont know how to answer them that time ><" just *sighhhh~*
u know...she's right...i dont wanna admit nia...
since i played ro...i quitted all my tuitions....just because i wanna play...ZZZZ~
i dont dare to admit cuz im ashamed...
n the nx exam....almost all i got D n E.....
sigh...i missed those times when i always gotten good results
n never had to worry about my exam results cuz i did well..
n all the tests i only didnt know how to do 1 or 2 questions...now its like i only know how to do 1 or 2 questions =.=
that time they were all saying im dam smart....
and i was always wondering wat if one day i get bad results? how would i feel? how would i get bad results ler? i was wondering how come ppl can get low marks...cuz all the papers i did was easy for me...now i know...now i know how i can get low marks...its because i nvr study!!
n now i must admit...i m dam stupid....stupid to let all those things affect my results...stupid to not pay attention on my studies...stupid!
now ler? how the 'fuck' m i gona get good results? *sorry being abit rude*
its too lateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee................
tmr bm and sejarah~ sighh...
wish me luck oh ><"
Thursday, November 10, 2005
SPM -Chinese- II
sighhh...~
at last my chinese over edi...
i wanna laugh le....its like i take this paper for fun de =X
whole year nvr touch chinese.....just start to learn the night b4....
n then go n take test....ppl prepare sooo hard for spm de ler...me ler =.=
hmm lemme c...
paper 1 was essay....ahhhh~ i wanted to write the factual 1....cuz i read b4 the essay...
but then hor...when i start to write...i dont know how to write the word!!!
its like i got the points but i dono how to write out...faint ahh~
then i gave up...i wrote '长大后的感觉真好‘ just simply crap my feelings...
sighhh as i write all those words i m sooo afraid i will be out of topic..
n another essay...dont say edi...so many words dono...forgot to recheck...faint!!
but then hor...i dam frust lor...
when we took that time...got 12 person taking...n 3 examiners...
at 1st it was quiet...till a man came in...i can guess he is those authority de ppl...
cuz he was wearing a 'peperiksaan' jacket n uniform =.=
wahseh....i tot he's suppose to let us do our exams in peace
HE TALKED SO BLARDY LOUD...he's like a big shot vip liddat
phone keep ringing...talk dam loudly...wahseh..he think he is wat
ownself ask ppl dont talk while they r the 1 disturbing..
SHHEEESHH~ i dammm frust that time...once they talked i will put down my pen n stare at them...just STARE~! *piffzzz* la....not only me...i can c alot ppl dam farn when they make noise..its like 'urghhhh...shut up!'
sigh...then paper 2....in front was okay i guess...
then the 文言文 (olden chinese language) part...i really can die...
i dont get a single thing!!! n must translate de ler...i translate until i wanna laugh jor...
the 2nd question...which was a poem...i dont understand a single word...
every question...each n every 1 of it i shoot....wahsehhh i dont even know wat they r asking man @@" its like ~ FAINTT~~!!
n i translate until =.= i really wanna laugh jor...doesnt make sense at all =.=
well at least the 明句精华 part was okay...cuz i read the night b4...
surprisingly i can remember @@" its like im trying to understand the proverb...n i sorta did so...when i saw the ques...its like i've read all...n i thought soo hard to remember....at least can remember some bah @@"
aiyah...i dono i can pass anot ><" i know A is impossible jor
hope i can at least get a C T.T cuz i dont want a D or E....looks horrible ><"
faint...over jor...prepare 1 day de exam...wanna laugh le la =P
i wanna go sleep~ too tired n sleepy jor...chaoozz
SPM -Chinese-
in 4 hours...merely 4 hours...
its my SPM chinese paper...
i got nothing to say jor...havent learn finish too
just now i was sooo tired i went to sleep at 11
wanna thank twinkie for waking me up XD *muaxxx*
sorry ya keep dragging =P
i guess i better go n prepare ><"
Wish me Luck ohh~~
All the best to hou also XD
n i wish those of u having exams good luck too ^^
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
SPM~
sux....suxxxx....suxxxxxxx
arghhh...less than 30 hours to my 1st paper for SPM - CHINESE!!
I M SOOOOOOOOO DEAD....
trust me...
I m sooo freakin dead~
those of u who were with me during my PMR when i took my chinese
n when i complained that my chinese for PMR is sooooooo dead...
n that pigs will fly if i can get A for chinese in PMR ><"
well this is MUCH MUCH WORSEEEEEE than that okie?
that A for chinese in PMR is just pure luck....luckkk! i got lucky...that's y
but SPM de chinese is sooooo much harder...
i've known of frens that work sooo hard n r soooo good in chinese...n yet
they cannot get A for spm.....SOBZ T.T
as much as i'd loveeee to get lucky again...its as far from reach as possible
now i dont even know wheter i can pass anot!!!!!!!!!
HELP~~!!!
i nvr touch my chinese for 1 year...1 year edi!!!!!! for 1 year ++ i nvr touch those books or read or write chinese words...
n now...30 hours b4 the exam i only start to LEARN chinese
how in the HELL m i gonna pass this?
WAAAAA SOBZZ T.T
Monday, November 07, 2005
My Ragnarok Journey~ Chapter I
This post will be a super super super long 1 XD
My main id's gona expire today...so ermm as a rememberance...
i'll write down my whole journey in Ragnarok Online...from when i was a noobie till now ^^
It all started in December 2003...
after my pmr...i always hear my fren talking about RO n how fun it is
n they will all be asking me whether i play anot...n i think i got the 1st explanation from my friend...n then when i went home my bro will be playing XD
i think i 1st saw him playing at morocc...hitting picky n condor XD...
i will be like 'ughh...y so sien 1...desert nia...nobody de?'
but i was so bored so he intro me to the game...
my 1st character was an archer - Cassiopeia
i guess none of u saw my archer b4 XD...my birthplace was a Payon
n i never travelled far from that...all that i saw was woods n trees =P
i always like to train on the map below payon XD the willow place...
day after day i would hit porings n willows there...
when i got bored...i will travel further XD...
n i was broke that time XD furthest i went was to alberta and prontera....
i would walk n walk until i memorized the maps...
it took me about a month for my archer to get to lvl 18 i guess...n i seldom see anybody around
but there was one day when i was lvling at payon field...
n a team passed by...they were hunters n 2nd jobs...i was like wowww!!
n i was hitting willow there =( then a hunter came to me n said
'u want me to tank u mar?' then my bro was like...say yes!!!
that time i didnt know wat was tank ><" so my bro explained...he help u lvl...
then i said okie XD...he hit a creamy...n i started to hit
but then i had no dex so i missed!!! took me soooo long to kill that creamy
i felt so bad for him ><" then when it died i gained 50% i was like WEEE~!! thx alot XD
n he said welcome...that was the 1st time ppl tank me ^^ but i dont remember his name ><"
then one day i was travelling at prontera field...i saw an aco...she healed me...
i was like wow...this job so chun...can heal ppl XD
n so i decided to play acolyte...my 1st aco was Pyxis...
i trained at ant hell hitting ant eggs for a few days...when i changed aco i didnt like the hairstyle...so i remade my Pyxis =P
from then on i trained that acolyte...but that time i was soo noobie
my stats were all sucky...but that time i lvled in prontera
hitting lunatics n fabres n porings...n i would find party to go hit rocker XD
there would be ppl there n when my hp is low i would sit down n chat ^^
oh yeahh...i would always ask ppl to tank me =P there were few who tanked me a few rockers...
such noobie =P using rod or mace to hit rocker...n the damage was soo low ><"
there was a day when i was hitting n i saw a knight tanking an aco...
so i asked...'can u tank me?' =P n he said 'sure...come join us' XD
n he tanked both of us XD....then more aco saw us n stared asking for tank =P
in the end there were 4 acos...the knight didnt mind n said he like to c the way aco hits monster...so kawaii ^^
since we came in order...the 1st aco was dai ka jie...n i m the 2nd 1...
i remembered we play for long long time...for a few days he tanked me it seems
when i online i will pm him...his name was catcher
that was my 1st friend in ro...but that time he had a gf =P
he asked me to be his gf too n said his gf didnt mind but i didnt want to be bad...
so from then on i never find him anymore ><"
so there was a day when i was hitting monsters again...
n someone came n said...how come u never go n heal monsters?
i was like harh? how to heal monsters...then he explained then when we heal undead = killing them...so he suggested gh...where there r lots of undeads...
but since my lvl was low i went to payon cave 1st ^^ where there r lots of zombies
when i reached there i saw lots n lots of aco...as well as lots of other ppl XD
its like soo fun ^^ so many ppl playing there...
killing zombies was fun...i would heal...then run run run...then heal again...then run run run
n i get so much more exp than hitting monsters...
but i didnt stay there long...soon i went to gh churchyard...
it was a scary place...i remembered when i 1st step foot there...
the music was sooo scary...n the place looks so deserted...
outside on the steps there would be ppl sitting down cuz dont dare to go in =P
to get to churchyard u have to pass by abbey...which has nightmares n such ><"
n once we see a nightmare = dead ><" i would always run run run n pray i wont run into 1...
but its always hard to get in ><"
well...and so my days of lvling in church yard begins...i would heal the monster n run...
once we meet hunterfly..its TELE!!! cuz my hp is soo low i cannot stand more than 2 hits =P
i would spend hours lvling there...n when im out of sp...i will go n sit in the cross + in the middle...
its like a sanctuary where everybody goes there to rest =P
the 1st person to tank me in gh was a female priest...green hair i think ><"
but it lasted only for a while ^^
my 1st friend there was Wnds...a female hunter...
she would always be there...n she will protect us XD
it was then only i found out about party...she would party always party with me XD
killing hf for us XD so funn...
n one day when i was outside on glast heim...i saw a priest...a male priest...his name was Helpful Bert...
he always organize parties n train those acos ^^
1 day i joined his party...n from then on i m a regular =P
he was the only priest n would always ab us n mag ^^
it was sooo fun...walking together killing monsters XD...
then i met another friend...heheHaHa - a female hunter...
and then i met Jack Blaze...a magician...but i forgot wat's his 1st character ><"
then we were the ones in bert's party...oh yeah...saki too...her acolyte as well ^^
everyday afternoon n midnite we lvled there n had loads of fun...
n i remember miroku!! XD Miroku-Sama...an acolyte...
we met him in ch yard...n they used to call him muruku sakit... =P
i remembered when we were both hitting wraith n a rare item dropped...
then we both wanna pick n in the end i picked it XD then we argued ><" n he scolded me ><"
now he said he dont remember le...he was the only friend that lasted until now ^^
well day by day we lvled there...n soon i was close to bert ><"
as in he was my ro bf @@" other ppl in the party would wander by themselves
n i would sit at the corner with bert XD chatting....
lolz...when we were brave enough we went to prison @@"
it was like hell!! few ppl were there...n it was so scary ><"
all i remembered was die...die...dead!! but it was fun...those brilights n prisoners n such XD
well after few months i guess...i was ready to be a priest...
it was hell waiting till job 50 but hehehaha persuaded me...
when i was job 48-49 i lvled alone in prison...but that time we had conflict with bert ><"
he caused some real life problems for me...so i really didnt like him
n he is a bad bad guy...ask saki XD she knew...n he was sooo 'small gas'
then we didnt contact with him anymore...
i remembered changing to a priest around 1 or 2am...
that time hehehaha n jack n saki gtg...so i was alone...
but luckily there was a priest...goshh i forgot his name...
but i met him back few months ago in uve XD
he brought me to prt church n helped me change to a priest...
n when i succeeded....WEEE~!! im like a grown up XD
from a small lil bitty aco to a big priest ^^
from then on...i started training as a priest...
i still remember hehehaha's words...to be a good priest...u must make sure everybody in ur party has ab...1st ab urself...then ab other ppl...so u will know when to ab them when its gone...
lolz...that's y now when i dont have ab i feel weird XD
but training as a priest was hard ><" i always have to heal n ab my party mates...
n i didnt get to heal monsters to lvl up ><" so i always supported them...
but when i had free time i would go to prison n lvl by myself
that time hunters were the popular jobs...
ahh...i think from then on ppl started botting...n nobody would lvl in prison...only hunters XD
my favourite place was at prison 7...that wired place ^^
i would always be around that area...n i was a favourite for the hunters ><"
as in...they would always come for ab n heal @@"
and so my full time job was to ab them ><"
whenever i saw them walking to me...i auto ab them @@"
sometimes they would sit down n chat with me....cuz i was the only priest not botting there ^^
but i dumb dumb >"<>
but still it was fun...i remembered Nostalgia...now cottonbud in Revo XD
hmm...my save point was at prt 9...when i was lazy i would park my character there
n i would observe around n spy other ppl *evil grin /gg*
hehehaha n jack n saki n miroku that gang saved there too...
as well as amanzel ppl^^ that time i admired them ohh...cuz they r all 2nd jobs n so geng XD
when i sat there...sometimes ppl would come n chat with me...
those friends i made from there were - Jao, Jarix...they were sin n priest XD
but they quit jor ><" i missed the time when i would talk to them for hours ^^
there were a few...n i met miroku n his gang there...
cwey, mLoki, Joyce n their guild...
oh yea...i used to see essence de ppl as well...everytime guild war they will gather at prt flower gurl there XD i remembered kigami with many characters @@"
Kigami I, II n III XD i admired him as well =P
oh yea...1st guild i joined was...aiks...cant remember the name @@"
arrghh....i remembered the guild leader was a lvl 99 hunter...
n lots of ppl admired him...he was a famous person during that time...with loads of characters...
that day they went to gh to mvp Dark Lord...n 1 of them invited me to guild...
but i lasted only 1 day ><" cuz my lvl was so low @@" n they had to kick me cuz i didnt go for guild war... *sobzzz T.T*
and then me, hehehaha, jack n saki decided to form a guild XD
the name i thought of it XD - Spirit Illumination...logo was white background with green thingy in the middle ><" designed by hehehaha...she was the guild leader ^^
in there i got to know my korkor ^^ Pillow...he was :+:Hunter:+: at that time XD
hmm...there were a few friends...Ah pao, ah win, cute angel...they were rich @@" at that time for me ^^
there were guild training that time XD the 1 i remembered most was the 1 at turtle island ^^
iit was a famous place for hunters XD n those lvl high ppl will go there
1 day we were bored so we organized a party there...
i think consists of hehehaha, jack, me, saki n korkor...2 snipers 1 aco 1 priest n 1 magi...
oh yeah...forgot to say that i was having problems with streamyx that time...
i would get disconnected every 5 mins @@"
n that day when we reached turtle island...after a while i start to dc ><"
n for a very very long time...30 mins i think @@"
when i get to connect back i saw them still there waiting for me XD
i was soo touched...but that time everybody was lying on the floor except hehehaha =P
wakakaka....i feel so bad...cuz i was the only priest...n they had to wait for me to ress...
but those days were fun...
wat elst? ohhh MVP XD...
the 1st mvp i knew of was Dark Lord...from those days of lvling at gh chyard...
whenever we c dl its TELE!!!! lolzz....it was such a terror for us...
once we were near dl we would run far far...n there would be bodies around...
like a cemetry XD but days went on n we soon got braver n nottier *evil grin /gg*
once we c dl we would always heal a few times b4 tele...
n when mvp teams came to mvp we would stand bside n ks =P
but always end up dead ><" !! those meteor storms were terrifying!! once dl use that skill we were all dead @@"
there would be lots n lots of ppl..around 20+ there XD soo fun ^^
but one day when i was a lvl 70+ priest with only +4 eq...i was so sien
so i went back to chyard to look for dl =P
that time i walked walked n i met dl...but i was prepared XD
i pressed tele n when im near death i will hit enter n flyyyy away ^^
so its like i go to dl n heal heal a few times until im almost dead n i would tele XD
there were other ppl there mvping as well...but they were all dead ><"
whenever i saw dl i would c lots of ppl lying on the floor...all shouting ress pls ress pls
but i would ignore them =P n continued mvping my dl...
i think i did this for a few rounds n when i was walking towards dl...the sign MVP poped up on my head XD weeeee~!! so happie that time XD 1st time mvp ^^
i got an Old Violet Box...but too bad i didnt kill dl ><><"
hmm...my eq were all sucky...but the thing that i wanted most was centimeltal flower n spirit chain...
it was soo pretty that time XD i picked loots in gh n after a few months i had enough money to buy a centi flower XD
it was 1m at that time @@" n it was all i had...i bought from an aco ^^
so happy...my aco looked sooo kawaii XD
i think the 1st item ppl give me was a matyr flea guard XD
that time i was lvling at ch yard...n there was this assasin from that famous guild that time ><" *forgot wat's the guild's name* Penril assasins or sth liddat ><"
he dealed me n gave me XD then on when he saw me he will help me ^^
n there was a wizard who gave me 100k when i heal and ab him XD
that time 100k was */omg* for me...keke~
hmm my eq were all given by hehehaha...she gave me pupa card n so ^^
that was the 1st time i got to know about eq...but all i had was +4
wah ><" so long le....continue next time bah ^^
Sunday, November 06, 2005
Morning XD
harlo...it's funny ya know~
it's kinda like i've adjusted back my sleeping time @@"
i dont know how i did that...but nowadays i will automatically wake up in the morning... ><"
without fail @@" cuz maybe nowadays i spend too much time awake in the morning
but that's badddd....i only can study during the long n silent nights ><"
its too noisy during daytime...make me cannot concentrate...*piffzz*
now so early ><" somemore my twinkie still sleepingg!!
nobody to chat with...
siennzz~
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Bitter...
Sigh...
sighhhhhhhh~~~~
few mins ago i wanted to look for szehowe...
so i had to sign in my msn...
n then i ><"
once i login n i saw all those contacts...
its like suddenly i felt so scared...im afraid to see his contact...
after a few days without seeing his contact...
its like he disappeared from my world...except the bit in my heart ><"
but then when i signed in that msn n saw again...
i felt like...i dont know him anymore...
it's strange when
one moment in ur life u can be very close to this person...n the next thing u know it...u both r strangers n maybe in the future u'll be passerby's on the road n u cant recognize each other...
life's like this huh?
Nostalgia
I've been wanting to write about this few days ago...but i kinda forgot ><"
anywayz...i guess its yesterday or the day before i was bored...so i looked through all my archives...i read all my old posts...
n every word of it brought back memories...
its like i've been through a time warp n that i've been transported back in time...
all of that memories just flowed through~
well not just wat's written there...there are hidden meanings from my posts as well...
those that i didnt write it down...even so...
that little bit of events can bring back the whole memories...
when i read the august n september posts...i started to think of him...
those days when i went out to shop or to watch movie or to play guild war with frens...
even though i didnt write down those moments with him...i can still remember...
sigh~ those fun times...really made my heart feel bitter...
how i wish i could turn back time...how sweet n carefree we were...
n oh...i went further back n read about the virtual vs reality posts...the part
the part where i hurt a few ppl ><" sighh...
to think of it...im the one getting hurt now...
there's a part i wrote where...how come after i reject someone...we cant be friends? why must we be strangers and not talk to each other...
lolx...now my opinion is totally different...as i dont really wanna speak to that particular person...
well probably its because he never even tried to speak to me...
maybe it just needs time...i doubt i will ever be that close to him as a friend anymore...
i miss those old times where we were still friends...
and he would always bully me ><" i would be very happy just to chat with him XD
what if we were never together? what if until now we r still friends...
then everything wouldnt be as it were now...everything will be different
few months ago i didnt realize how much hurt i created for some ppl...
it was until now that i realize...until now that i know that how painful is it
i feel bad for wat i've done...for wat i've been thinking...
i thought that those ppl who were hurt by me were overeacting...
i thought they were being silly...i was surprised that wat they have done for me...
but little did i know that few months later - that is now...
i would become like them...now i understand what they've done...
n im much more worse than them by hurting myself...
how come i didnt understand that before?
maybe its because i never experienced it before...until now
i wanna blame myself for what i m now...but it isnt my fault...
as i read back those july posts...it's like im scolding myself...
in those posts some were directed to those being hurt...
when i read back...its like stabbing a knife in my heart...its as though
the past of me came back to scold me...n i tried to understand my feelings then
i tried to compare...i tried to let go
but the situation is different...i realize
who wouldnt be hurt if the one they r so happy with found another one in their life?
n left them for another gurl?
i really dont know how to put the situation...
im tired of thinking...i've thought so much...n i tried to forgive
as i know in love there is no right or wrong...
but how can u betray someone???!!! how can u backstab someone??!!
goshh i really hate this...
i'm tired of putting the pieces together...
Feelings...
Hie bloggie...nowadays didnt really wanna blog...cuz all my feelings r pretty much the same...
>>>sad....lonely...depressed...<<<
my body clock spoilt jor ><" nowadays nvr really sleep...sometimes sleep in the afternoon...sometimes sleep at nite...but i know from midnite till 12pm i wont sleep de @@"
i will chat till 6am liddat...then slack till 8am...n then i will play piano ><"
nowadays i really like to play piano...especially those sentimental songs
i will find find for those soft n slow songs...then i will play ^^
surprisingly i played not bad XD somemore sight reading ler =P
maybe its got to do with my mood ><" sometimes im so in tuned with the song
i will just let my fingers dance around the keyboard...
n then i will think of those sweet and bitter memories...
i promised myself not to cry...but my tears still dropped...
sometimes when i think of how close we were last time it will really make me feel that its all wasted ><"how can some ppl just been through so much n then everything is gone in like a while...
sighz...but dont worry ohh ^^ i m slowly learning to put it down
since that story -Dying Love- i already knew that no matter how much i cry it will not change a thing ^^
oh yea...i lurve this song - feng by Jay Chou
suits my mood...the melody is like telling about my feelings
enjoy oh ^^
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Fate~ Dying love...
Is there something as fate? or is it pure coincidence?
i really wanna laugh le...remember the previous post where i dreamt of something?
in my dreams the msg is to not love anybody again...
n then today...something super weird happen again...i really cant believe it...
the chinese newspaper xing zhou ri bao got short novel everyday de ^^
so when i'm free i'll go read...n today i had nothing to do so i opened it...
when i saw the title i was like.../omg...
n then i read the story...i was like...fucking shit @@"
the story is 90% the same as wat's happening to me...
im like reading my own story...n as i read im really speechless...
n there's this part where she wrote about wat happened on the 11th day after their broke up
then i counted....i was like OMG~ today is the 11th day too...
i really cant believe...its as though someone knew ><" every bit of my story is written there...then i saw the writer she had the same name as me! my bing *ice* damm....this is soo freaky... i cant copy the story...so i translate it here ^^ just wanna keep it somewhere so when im down i can read ^^ those of u reading this can stop now le...nonit continue read =P
original text - 逝去的爱 by 冰郁儿...城市七日情.大都会.星洲日报.02.11.2005
*:+:*:+:*:+:*:+:*:+:*:+:*:+:*:+:*:+:*:+:*:+:*:+:*:+:*:+:*
Dying love~
In the still of the night as the rain drizzles, the cold sharp wind blowed through her heart in spite of the thick sweater that she was wearing. She was staring motionless in front of the window, looking at the rain that drizzles in the circle of light from the lamp post across the street, waiting...longing for something, those delicate hands that rested on the window shivered uncontrollably.
The telephone ring that she was longing for was still silent. This night was long and lonely, she missed him so much more, missing his soft and delicate hands...missing his warm hug.
From such a long time ago, her instinct hinted her of something bad, those evil voices in her head kept repeating to her, telling her that he was going to leave her. Even so, she tried so hard to look for the source that's making them unhappy, yet all she got was silence from him.
Raindrops started to fall viciously, the sadness that was surrounding her grew thicker as to the rain. She kept telling herself not to cry anymore, yet her vision still blurred from the tears as it was yesterday.
Pressing those familiar digits on her phone, the coldness of the voice was such a stranger to her, there wasnt a single drop of feeling in those few little sentences. Suddenly she felt those cold as sharp wind blows through her heart. All she felt was coldness, very cold.
**********
Light from the sunset shined into the coffee shop, him and her sat on the table beside the window with only silence surrounding them. Outside, pedestrians walked in such a hurry pace, yet inside, the atmosphere was awkward and heavy.
Coffee without sugar is bitter, but nothing can be more bitter than what she felt in her heart.
He never said a word, she didnt want to say a word. The two of them looked at each other, waiting for the other to start the conversation. They were struggling in this dying love, but both were hurt from it.
She didnt want to let go, he couldnt speak a word; Those endless sacrifice, those sad acceptance. None of them can save each other and this relationship.
At last, she held her hand up to pay the bill. He was still in silence. She opened the door and walked out without turning back, it was like their love walking away as the sadness in her heart filled up.
Streets filled with people were lighted up by those lamp posts as the light flickered. She stood at the roadside just like a kid who was lost, without knowing where to go next.
Love that deteriorated had lost its value. Those promises and vows they made to each other that they thought would never be broken in reality was so easily torn, and torn into such small pieces that it was impossible to put them back together. Even if there was a way to put them back together, it would be worthless as a piece of junk.
**********
The phone was still silent. no matter how long she waited, it never rang.
Unable to control her emotions, she cried uncontrollably. She cried his name out loud, she cried out their story...cried out the sadness in her heart.
The unhappiness...the unwillingness...the frustrations all transformed into tears.
Even so, she knew more than anybody else that even how much tears she shed, it would never held him back by her side. His cruelty and cowardness were like a sharp knife cutting her heart out, and then throwing it on the floor and stepping it over and over again without mercy.
**********
On the 11th day after their broke up, she was still like a souless human with only a body as an outer shell. No matter how hard she tried, she still couldn't wake up from that trauma. But she didn't want to show anybody her weakness, in front of people she tried so hard to hide those glittering tears, even in those lonely nights.
Those familiar streets, those familiar buildings, and every familiar place they've been hadn't changed a bit, and yet the only thing missing was him. Only god knows how much she'd been missing him. And so, she transformed all those feelings...sadness...loneliness onto her diary.
On the day the broke up, his coldness, his uncaringness...all those showed that he had made up his mind that he was not turning back. Yet until now, she still believed again and again that he will come back to her.
But, who was her to control reality?
**********
She stepped foot in that familiar coffee shop, sat down and ordered his favourite coffee. As she stared at the coffee without sugar, her heart was down to the pits. This place was where they first dated. She tried to return to those sweet old times, but no matter how hard she tried she failed to do so. She sat there staring at this strange nothingness for 2 hours. As she looked at the people walking outside the street, her mind was nothing but blank.
19 days after their broke up, she was still drowned in that trauma.
All of a sudden, that warm and familiar voice broke the silence in her heart. The voice that she was so longing to hear and the shadow that she was so longing to see. And yet, when she saw the little hand that he was holding, she wanted to run away, she wanted to hide her every actions. She was afraid that he saw her!
Those eyes that said a thousand words before hadn't changed as they were both wondering whether or not to look at each other. Still they stared at each other's clear and innocent eyes for 30 seconds. Her expression was still, he pretended not to know her, and then he turned his head and walked away.
She found out at last from him the reason he left her. Although she never exactly heard it from him, she saw his happiness. That happiness that she was incapable of giving. She saw his partner's happiness, the happiness that he can no longer give her.
There were roses on his partner's hand, it was as though that was a victory flag as she was waving it proudly in front of her.
At last she had to admit that she lost, she lost to him that couldn't kept his promises for her.
She left the coffee shop, and left their love once and for all.
As for her tears, it could no longer drop for a worthless love.
**********
RO
sigh...this sux...
i shouldnt have login...really shouldnt...
cuz today my champ expire le...then my hand itchy...so i wanna go pvp test my asura lor
n then this frankie pulak use that fella's paladin...the party name was erm...sighhh
the party name was the sweet sweet type de...
makes me think of them....arghhhhhh~!!!!
y my hand so itchy jeh...everytime i login my heart will be sooo sour
then when i c those things cutting out a piece of my heart n letting the blood flow...
really shouldnt have login...if i nvr see at least i wont be that san fu now
heck...all my ids left less than 10 days jor...
after this i dont have to login!!!! arghh..everytime login buy fire arrow i c my priest i can T.T
after this i should just forget about this game....
this game really changed me alot...my results from 9x average drop to 5x average ><"
then i became lazierrrr....n then i hurt so much from this game...sigh
although there r precious n happy times...but then...
right now i think of it i really hope really hope that i hadnt find out about this game n started playing through my bro...
if only i nvr started playing ro...i wonder how my life will be?
maybe when im free im gona post my ro stories XD
so when i bored i can read back all those old memories ^^
morning ^^
g'morning bloggie XD
weee...i just woke up ^^ slept for 11 hours yesterday @@"
but then 2++ i woke up...then 5++ woke up again...
hope after this i can adjust back my sleeping time ^^
last nite after i slept around 3...i got a wonderful dream XD~
well although the dream didnt turn out well...it's good enough edi ^^
when i woke up i feel so sweeettt XD
shhhhh secret =P nothing to do with anyone i know dont worry~
just me n my dream XD
maybe the dream was trying to tell me that...i m fated to be alone...
that i shouldnt fall in love with anybody...i shouldnt open my heart to anyone...
hope next time i remember this oh ^^ aloneeee~
hmm...today i wanna start studying jor XD
cuz thursday my sis coming to stay...wahseh...beh tahan ler
she come means i not free jor...must keep fok si her 2 daughters...
how come she nvr think that i must study de wor TT *sobzzzzz*
heck care..i lock myself in my room...let my bro play with them...
*piffffzzzz*
awake...
zzz...how come i will wake up now ler?
just now i was soo sleepy i slept straight away...n then
i had a few bad dreams ><" yea...its about that...that fella...
cant really remember much but i know the main character is him @@"
sighh...then i woke up...i was like...yay~
just nice wake up in the morning XD then i saw the time
245am =.= zzzzz...how come i cannot sleep more wor!!
im supposed to sleep till morninggg!! goshh...nowadays my sleeping time really
faint ah...my fren was asking me...how come u can simply sleep 1?
i was like 'i tired then sleep lor...' ><"
but the fact is 1 day i only slept 2-3 hours @@"
im gona get sick if i continue liddat ><"
now somemore nobody pei me le...i wanna go back sleep but then
how to sleep?! *sobzzz T.T*
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Exhausted...
whew....what a long long day...i m very very tired n sleepy now ><"
although i would very much like to sleep right now...but i wanna adjust back my sleeping time...
must tahan a few more hours then i can sleep till morning le XD
must crap abit here n buy time~
lolz...funny day...dono worth going anot...but then at least get to go out n meet frens ^^
at 1st i cant go to midvalley mar cuz no transport...so frankie came to fetch me lor
lol thought he was joking at 1st...but he really came @@"
when he reach klang i was like guiding the way on the phone XD
at last found my house...then we went to midvalley...
the funny thing is...i dono how to go =P cuz i seldom go by car there...n i dont use that highway...
so i dono ><" then we follow signboard...then took the long way...weee~
orh yeah....we went in happy garden...then i was like...this place so familiar geehhh?
saki's aunt's house there XD i stayed there b4...but cant remember which street
then we passed by the house n i was like...yaa~!! its here! XD saki's house ^^
so fun ah so many of them stay nearby...can go yumcha anytime...
he was like pointing those ppl's house...lolz
sighh....only me so far pulakk
haizzzz...now only i realize that fella's house so near...i didnt know can c from that highway
looking at the car really makes me think of old times ><"
hmm we went to watch koma 2 lor...szehowe pick de movie!
at 1st i thought it was a ghost show...but it was a ><" monster?
although some part really scared me....overall the show really can make me sleep!!!!
its so ermm normal i guess ><" n very dragginggg!!!!
really too dragging...i was like staring at it...n thinking...faster go to the next scene laaaa
if it werent for that i was with ppl...i would have walked out of the cinema
really dont like ><" so cold somemore @@"
after the movie we were still not hungry...dono y...nvr eat lunch oso ><"
ermzz then we kinda went back...but hor...lolzz dam funny
frankie oso lie to his sis de /gg he reset the meter so that it wont show that he drive too far
but then the thing is he reset jor now not enough...must drive extra 20km more!
lolzzz....then we went riding around subang lorr...
we went to sunway college...then went to his old house XD...then we passed by pyramid around 3 times!! alot more....we turn for 1 hour ++ jor...then at last also enough km le XD
then fetch me to subang station sit train home lor ><"
that time i was sooo tired i nearly fell asleep in the train...i really did
my eyes was like closing closing n i was fighting to open it...i cannot miss my stop ><"!!
well there's 2 young couples in front of me...n they r soooo sweeeetttt
the gurl was tired so she rested her head on the guy's shoulder n they were holding hands
all the while the guy was like looking at her...his eyes like full of concern n care liddat...
somemore they were holding hands n he was sayang-ing her hand ><"
eeeee so sweet la...i wanna lie can only lie on the glass...sobzzz
i c them so sweeet i really...sighhhh~
cuz everywhere i go i saw those things i will think back of the old sweet times...
every place that has our shadow...swtz la makes my heart so sour ><"
tired ahh...i think i stop here bah~ nitez bloggie
-
today is deepavali ^^ happy deepavali to all indians *i wonder if there's any who read my blog...i guess none?* lolz...
sighh...i m supposed to go out today de...go watch movie with them n go meet meichi oso XD
but then ler......my parents went out...so nobody's fetching me T.T
cuz cuz my grandma's been admitted to hospital ><" in ipoh @@"
last nite 330am i heard sms on my mom's phone...n i saw the msg...
but then its funny...cuz she so late only msg *swttzzzz* while it happened in the noon
i woke my mom up for nothing man...sheeshh...
so they went to visit my grandma today lor...
even though im not close with her but i still hope she's alright ^^
tired of scolding fuck jor
sighh....how ler...im stuck in the house yet again...
weeeeeeee~ today i woke up hearing them prepare to go...
hmmm i slept few hours nia @@"
then i start to think about that thing again
make me really wanna ^#$%^#@!$#@#$">#^@%^#$%^#@!$#@#$
arghh...who cares...there's a thing called revenge in this world...
as in...those who done something bad will get it back...lolzz
even though im not that mouliu plotting revenge n i m a free thinker but then
i still think nature has its own way XD =P
dowan to scold le =P
since it's happened then i should let it be
i dono how come sometimes i still keep thinking about that...
let it beeeeeeee..........
gosh im mad....
just ignore me ^^
liars...backstabbers..
zzz...cant sleep...cant think of a title...so mar put that 1 lor
as much as im deep in rage now...i still have to control
since i woke up around 10pm just now...that that
those...that fella n the gurl's image kept coming to my mind...
i kept imagining them ermm u know wat la...
n the more i think the more i m dam angry...
zzzzz....i know i shouldnt
they disgust me...i m furious!
szehowe was like telling me...
ppl so happy with that gurl there....enjoying themselves
y u wanna torture urself here? is it worth?
is he gonna realize? is he gona pity?
NO...he dont give a freakin dam...
i know the world's suppose to turn that way...
well i know its not worth but sometimes humans cant control their feelings rite...
i hope that i could put it down but the more i thought
the more i....
sighhh...sux...sux...suxx...
n sometimes things just happen...but for now
i never sleep...not gona sleep again...
later watching movie with them...if i sleep i wont get to wake up
yawnzz..what should i do in the meantime ler?
everybody sleep jor...
i m dam blardy....goshh its unbelievable!!!!!!!!