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Sigh...times passes so fast @@"
it's already the end of my 1 week holidays...
the last of my holidays before i have to go out on the battle field T.T
well i havent really finished updating on the hospital attachment part
too bz to do so >.<"
but then a very pro doctor told me something
'if u're a doctor n u're a girl, u will be single for the rest of ur life'
=.=
'if i'm an engineer or a businessman n i see u as a doctor ah, i will run away...nono...not for me'
=.=
zhar dou....i know ah >.<"
i'm gona be really bz til i have no spare time for myself
i can see a few examples in the hospital...some really 'siao' female doctors lol...
like work till crazy jor @@"
should i?
he said depends on interest...
nowadays nobody respects doctor...n very err risky also...
patient is the biggest lol...do anything wrong n be prepared to face the court...
sigh~ i also dont know
anywayz....had some great time on friday night n saturday...
was stranded alone in KL >.<" apparently lrt had some major technical difficulties n they had to stop their service @@"
n it was so muddy on the streets of kl that i dirtied my pants n sandals T.T
ahh well...at least i get to see the streets of KL at night on a bus lol...
n err...went somewhere =P
im dead btw...never study AT ALL during the holidays
but then cant blame me too ><>
n i never even touched my pile of homeworks...sigh~
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
this word...i've known it all my life
i thought i had a chance to finally escape from its clutches
but how wrong i was
i can never run from it
no matter how hard i tried
no matter how i tried to convince myself
no matter how happy i tried to pretend
its shadow still looms over me...
threatening to eat me up alive
i cannot stand it anymore...
everytime i just break down and tears start falling down my cheeks
thinking that...i'm really alone
even though i tried to argue with myself that there are still people who cares about me
but do they really? are they really by my side when i need them?
no...they dont give a freakin damn...
where are these people when i was in the hospital going through operation alone?
where are they when i call them for help everytime?
where are they when i'm sad n i needed someone to talk to?
most of them just didnt bother to reply my msges or answer my calls...
nvm...i dont wanna get into details...
sigh~ this will be another long n lonely night
there's no moon to accompany me tonight...
just stars that are not visible in the sky *
Hospital Attachment part 2
Day 2 of hospital attachment
this was probably where the real attachment begun
we were posted to the emergency ward...
n i thought hey...maybe we could see some real blood here lol
i like emergency room...where the real life saving thingy starts...
so we were there...n we met this wonderful doctor XD
at 1st when the nurse asked us to go to the doctor's office i was like ><"
but then when i walked in i saw this friendly indian lady sitting there grinning at us =D
my 1st thought was...err...she's the doctor?? @@"
lolx i thought she was a nurse or something like that...but she turned out to be a fun n friendly doctor...
she was kind n understanding...n when there were cases...she asked us to follow her lol...
sooo much better compared to those arrogant nurses *pfft*
everytime when i wanted to see what they were doing they would pull the curtains on me...
n i walked another side they pull again...dont wanna let me see...
n i thought we were supposed to follow the nurses *grrrr*
there was another friendly malay porter as well...i was peeping from the side
n he wanted to close the shades n i thought *awww...not again >.<"*
then he looked n me n said 'masuklah...kamu nak belajar kan?'
XD weee~ then i jus walked in n stood there to watch
well that's practically everything inside bah...nothing much
a few accidents with fractures n abrasion wounds....got fits case also...
n lots of asthma patients =.= stupid kids lol...keep screaming n shouting n crying till made me despise paedietrics =P
Day 3
i was almost giving up...almost >.<"
until i was at the lift n there was a breeze of chilly wind n i thought...maybe i should give it another shot...after all, today is another day ^^
so today we were posted to the paedietrics and surgical ward...
ward - meaning no cases =.= just patients resting in their wards...
but then there was some motivation =D there was this cute young paedietrician...in his late 20s i think...at 1st i thought he was cute lol....
it's rare to see young doctors mar =P
but it's starting to get on my nerves when my friend kept bugging me saying things like
'eh...maybe u can go n introduce urself to him'
'go fish him lah....make him notice u'
'he's not bad u know...really dam handsome when he's doing work' <<<>
i said enough edi still keep repeating that...
SO WHAT if he's cool...it's not like im interested in him also...
making me hate him n him more n more zzzzzzz
bahh...back to the paedietrics ward...
the staff nurse was friendly XD she said if there's anything we can follow n see ^^
that's how we came to meet this surgeon Wong....
they asked us if we wanted to observe how they do dressing...
so i thought why not XD since we were almost bored to death walking around the ward...
we went in this room...with this indian man...n i saw his bare ass =X
i didnt know what he was doing...until he opened a cut 4cm across n around 8cm deep @@"
my god...it was sooo eee...geli until i can feel the guy's pain ><"
he opened the wound n he stuffed the gauze in...just keep stuffing n stuffing....n then pulled the whole thing out
waaaaaa ><" so geli.....the wound so deep ler...
this wasn't as bad as the 2nd 1...where there's this guy with a wound on his thigh
it's soooo freakin big n deep...like from the top of the thigh till the bottom...
my god...i can see the tissues n all inside...this 1 also keep stuffing the gauze in the wound n pull it out...
ouch ><" even when the guy's on sedative he was screaming like mad
that scene itself really made me wanna give up taking medicine...
i don't think i can take it =X
sobz...anywayz...surgeon wong was kind enough to bring us to his office n show us some slides on surgeries n stuffs...
but after that when we returned to the ward got nothing much lah...
sigh....tmr is err...i also forgot =X
but i think is some ward also...n according to a doctor tmr we wont be seeing much cuz the doctors dont like us following them around T.T
haix...i really wish i can faster end this
Monday, August 21, 2006
Hospital Attachment
Day 1 of the hospital attachment n i am already hating it...
n i somemore thought i was gonna have a fun n exciting time there...
i was supposed to report there at 10am...
i was there just in time...actually >.<" 5 mins late...hard to find parking @@"
but we had to wait n wait for dono wat...
while we were waiting at the admin office...we heard the managing director shouting at the secretary ><" n it was about us... faint...
havent even met him n he's already complaining about us T.T
n after 30 mins or so waiting there like dumb dumbs...finally we met the nursing director
she was nice ^^ very helpful n all...
n we met this CEO too...he was very err...humorous? i think he was testing us =.= see whether we really wanna be doctors or not...faint~
n finally we got to meet the "big shot" managing director of the hospital...
the 1st thing he said "I definately cannot allow u to walk around in the ward with this this disgraceful attire"
@@"...wat the.... okay...so i admit i was wearing err...cargo pants >< couldnt find any formal pants in the morning...but it's not as bad wat...at least i'm wearing a formal top...
n my other friend was ok...just that he was wearing sport shoes...
n then he said "what are you doing in these attire? it's like the normal casual wear u wear everyday"
uhh...HELLO??!! we dont wear button n collar shirt outside...zz
n he got worse "u girl...ur pants...it's too SHABBY...like what u wear to pasar malam"
my god....i was soo pissed off! zzz...
"either u go back now and change into proper attire...or else don't come back today"
wat the hell.....
jus because of that we wasted 1 hour...drove back home n change then come back
finally at around 2 our real attachment begun...
the 1st 1 was to this dietetics department where this young dietetian showed us around...
in his office only me, my friend n him...
so he asked 'so wat do u want to know about my department?'
errrrrr................
*look left...look right...*
.......
lol...soo quiet...dono wat to ask
this went on for about 40 mins before he finally got up n showed us the kitchen lol...
n umm...after 1 long long hour...finally we got to go to CCU...
oh we were all excited when we reached there...
the nurse manager was like 'do u want go see them do angio?'
*yaya!!! want want!!!*
then we just stared at her n smile
'but wait...wat year r u in? year 2? year 3?'
'err...no...preU' >.<'
'oh....in that case...i cannot let u go in n see'
*NOOO~!!!!!*
sigh...n we spent another 40 mins roaming around the CCU looking at charts n all...
after that i rushed to pyramid le...
i never even waited till 4pm...really sien of the damn hospital /e5
watched click in pyramid XD
funny lol...n touching also...made my tears drop in the end >.<"
oh my dad was furious at me going out till late nite =P
yea well...that's about it...
"looking forward" to an "exciting" day at the hospital tmr =.=
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Busy holiday
Dear bloggie,
actually before this post i typed around 2 posts...but i didnt have the urge to post it...
didnt know why...just feel that it's not significant enough to be posted lol
well...my holidays FINALLY arrived...
but then to think of it =X this holidays' gona be even worse than my normal college days...
umm...i suddenly wanted to do medicine...
so i had to do hospital attachment...the recommendation letter will look nicer on my application to uni...
so i decided to do the hospital attachment this holidays...
the march holidays wasted >< forgot ="P
5 days!! sob T.T...my whole week gone...9am til 4pm everyday
can die arh...i wanna go out have fun~!!
i catch up on some much needed movies, shopping, hanging out, yumchar etc T.T
sigh...looks like i wont be able to do those things
uncanny though =.= this holidays i got the car all to myself n can do anything i want...
n yet i'm busy with hospital attachment...sigh~
i guess...that's all bah
these days i have lots n lots of feelings i wanna write down
but then...sigh i dont wanna read back n evoke the painful memories
so i rather let it disappear...
Monday, August 07, 2006
Past and present
Dear bloggie,
my nightmares started again...as much as i want to escape it...
it's inevitable~ sigh...
just as i thought i almost can let it go...
something happened...why?
from there i found out some thing...
it left me in despair...sigh...
these few days i'm like returning to the state where i'm heartbroken
where every free time my mind is thinking about those memories
thinking bout all those times we had together
every tear represents a moment...be it sweet or sour...
it still hurts alot...
but still...the past is the past...
nothing will change...
just hope...he is happy
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Running away
...
i have nothing to say...
very very suffering now...
my heart bleeds...
why do i always let other ppl hurt me?
why would i just keep quiet n let those words harm me?
stupid me...
i wanna run away...
i dont want to know...
i thought it was long gone...
who knows...it's still in 1 deep corner
sigh~
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Stranded...
I think it's a known fact now that the service provided by KTM just sucks...
i was stranded on my way to college...yet again =.=
the stupid train stopped somewhere in between Bukit Badak n Padang Jawa...
no electricity - no lights no aircond...door was lock...n it was around 650am...
at first everybody thought it was only for a while...
until 5 minutes passed....10 minutes....30 minutes!!!
by then everybody was restless...n we were SUFFOCATING!! no oxygen weh~
n then we suddenly felt the train being pushed...
so i guess some other train came n push us to the padang jawa station
lol it was funny...when we were stuck...soo many ppl were smsing n calling...
all the conversations are the same 'KTM broke down again...' 'stuck at dono where' 'i'll be late'...etc lol
well u see...padang jawa station has 3 tracks...we were at the left most lane
when we reached...soo many ppl were rushing to get down lol...
when the door opened - Fresh air!!!! WEE~~!! hahaz =P
all rushed to the train behind us...the train that pushed our train lor...
so we thought it was over at last...
until the train reversed =.="...for quite a distance...n back to the station again...this time using the middle lane...n the train stopped there again!! for around 10 minutes lerr...
n then we saw on our left...another train!!! the later train...came n pass just like that
soo many ppl was cursing 'wth?!?!??!!'
oh that wasnt it...the stupid train reverse AGAIN!!!
n use back the left most lane...dam dumb lah
i later only found out that it was pulling the spoilt train to the middle lane =.= zz
oh i reached subang station at around 830....almost 2 hours train ride!!
great....i missed the 1st class already...by the time i reached college it was around 840...
lucky my bio exam was not at 8am...if not i die
i think i'm gona persuade my mom to let me drive to college le..
dont caree!!! =P if continue like this i'm gona have troubles
n plus...im sooooo much darker compared to last time...
thanx to walking under the hot sun everyday!!
n it's dangerous too...walking at side alleys n all...alot of snatchers n robbers ><"
i'm considered lucky to not meet any real incidents since the beginning of the year le
oh well...hope my mom agrees =P