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I am going to do something really dumb
really really dumb i tell u...
i'll blog about it when i get home
hopefully in one piece
really dont know why m i so stupid...
so....so....bendan!!
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
dear bloggie,
i m having a hard hard time now...very suffering >.<"
really dont know what's wrong with me sia...
it was fine when i sat for my bio paper this morning...
n then i slept in the afternoon
when i woke up...@@"
gastric but cannot eat =.=
i dont mean to be disgusting but i can feel the err...stomach contents rising up to my throat ler...
keep wanna vomit...
n every bite i force down my throat it will force itself back up
aihz...somemore got fever + headache + cough
n i can feel the lymph nodes near my jaw swollen again...causing ulcers to form in my mouth...
sigh...how to study like that T.T
n tmr's chemistry...one of my worst papers...
i'm so doomed
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
dear bloggie...
i'm taking a break from studying bio for my trials paper i'm about to sit in 4 hours time
sigh...im being such a pig lately~
after the physics paper last friday...i hadnt study a bit for other papers
not even one bit even though i had insufficient time left
n u know what? i started studying bio only 3 hours ago
yay me =.=
i'm so gona die...
bio's the only subject that i put hope in
it's my best subject in college this year...i never gotten a bad result for bio
n i sure hope that this trials is not gona be the one that fails me
aihz...
sometimes i wonder is it a good thing to study for exams ah? lol
if i study n prepare for a paper...i would exert tremendous pressure on myself
as i wouldnt forgive myself if i fare badly in that paper having prepared for it
i would be super nervous n sometimes my mind would go completely blank =.=
too panic no good geh...
if i never prepare for a paper...i wouldnt care much...
no stress no pressure just relax n do the paper as best as i can
but the bad thing is...confirm wont get good results lah =(
sigh...nowadays i'm having other problems too
really really pulling me down...it hurts alot alot...
n yet i m still untangled in that web of mess
i just wish...
sigh...maybe i should stick to my blardy advice...
loneliness is my fate n i m doomed to be alone forever? lolx
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
LoL...i really wanna whack myself in the head...
well you see...i'm having my trials starting this friday...
*panic~!!!!!*
n urm...i'm really not prepared for it...
me being me...i'm sooo last minute...i dont even recall one test that i really prepared days earlier...except maybe for the 1st test...
and so...i started studying on sunday night...to prepare for physics this friday...n everything was going fine...
i'm very surprised at myself for what i did yesterday...
i practically studied the whole day @@" i know...so unlike me isnt it? lol
every free minute was spent on reading notes n stuffs...
i even gave up my nappy time in ktm in the morning...
n my nappy time on my comfy bed in the afternoon to study...T.T
even though i was dead tired...i had this strong motivation to continue studying...
now i wonder where did i get that? lol
oh yea...back to the whacking my head part...
i was doing some momentum exercises late last night...
n there's this question i was doing that i got it correct without even thinking
i just read the question n pressed some calculator buttons n got the answer XD
lol...proud of my accomplishment...i went to sleep...
n boy...what a 180 degree turn when i woke up this morning...
it's like i lost all the drive to study in one night!! gahh...
i slept in the train...in class...n didnt even bother to do my work >.<"
n when i went home...i continued sleeping til i woke up 3 hours ago...
but i felt guilty...so i tried to study just now...
n i went back to the SAME question i was doing last night...
n tried to do it again...
i read the question n i was like 'huh? how to do ah? why so hard 1...'
n i kept thinking n thinking n thinking n still cannot get the answer
till i looked at the workings i scribbled last night *gasp...*
my gosh...the same question leh....
last night can answer in a few secs n today i totally forgot how to do it le...
aiyohh~!!!!!! *smack smack*
after i finish this cup of coffee i better get started...
it's a long long night ahead~
Sunday, September 17, 2006
hey bloggie...
it's been a while since i last posted anything here...
sigh...i've been...not to say busy
but i dont have any free time for myself
thanks to someone =.= who dislike me going online
i seriously dont know what's wrong with going online...
it's not doing me any harm...
seems like i've bottled up all my feelings lately
i feel like a volcano erupting!!! GRR~!!!
i think...i dont wanna be like that anymore...
i wanna be myself...i wanna have some time for myself
i wanna do the things i like to do...without anyone telling me what to do
well there's this other thing bothering me
sigh...i dont know how to pour it out
i know u both wanna have some time for urselves...
i feel bad if i'm a lamp post...
n it's not ur problem either...i mean...even if u both dont feel anything
i'm gonna feel something...
it's like without me u guys cant get together...
just like using me to get together =.=
what m i gona do there when u both get all mushy
im sure u dont mean it that way n i'm sure u dont want me to be alone
but i'm fine by myself...i really am
prolly i've gotten used to it...gotten used to being alone
nvm...my trials coming soon
i think i'm gona bury myself in all my notes n cups of coffee...
i study better at night when everybody's asleep lol
study arh~!!