Navigations are at the top.
i realize...too much dose of tv series is a bad bad thing =.=
not only does it distort ppl's perception of real life...as in it gives false impression
making ppl think that life can be that fun...or love can be that romantic
it also....drains my tears out of my eyes!
i woke up with swollen eyes today >.<"
super swollen...until my eyeballs are barely visible =.="
it's still swollen now =X
i was hiding from my dad n my bro whole day sia...
so obvious that i cried my eyes out last night @@"
cant help it >.<"
too sad lah thinking about the ending
i couldnt stop crying even in my bed...guess i cried to sleep >.<"
n i still feel a tinge of sadness for him today
anyway.....i should lay off sad sad dramas
moving on to funny dramas XD
as for now i'm watching 微笑pasta ^^
it's on AEC. 9pm weekdays
but then i'm too bored at home so...=D - YouTube XD
i think this is nicholas tse's 1st taiwan drama...
n surprisingly he's done pretty well i say...
didnt realize he was so handsome n yeng b4 =P
reminds me abit of rain lol
i'm guessing this drama wont be as sad as the previous 1 i've watched
it's off to a funny start
hope it will have a happy ending as well eh?
else my swollen eyes arent gonna subside anytime soon =.="
Silence 深情密码
dear bloggie,
these days i m hooked onto watching a drama - Silence 深情密码
every night clinging on to the computer...
catching all the episods on YouTube from night time till wee hours in the morning
i just finished watching the show
and until now...
my eyes are still filled with tears...that are stubborn and seems to keep replenishing itself for the past 2 hours
i couldnt stop crying from the start of the last episod
call me a crybaby but believe me...
if u watch it...even if u dont cry...
u will be stung by sadness...n touched by it
i know it's only a drama...
but to see that the main actor grew so much and changed to become a better person gives u pride
when he knew that he was gonna meet his end
he wasnt selfish...he didnt want his loved ones to be sad
he chose to walk the misery alone
hiding the truth that he was dying from everyone...even until the last few days of his life
all the while taking the pain for himself
yet touching other ppl's lives in little ways when they didnt realize it
what made me cry wasnt the sad touching love story between him n the girl
it was him...
the selfless, noble him...
keeping the promises he made for everyone...n fulfilling his duties
so sad...to see the pain in his eyes while putting on a smile for everybody
life...isn't about taking...it's about giving right? =)
so is love...hoping n wishing that the one u love is happy even if...that person is not with u
记得...你一定要幸福哦 ^_^
as much as i would have liked a happy ending, death was inevitable for him
at least...he died the peaceful way he wanted to most...
not alone...but in the arms of the one he love =)
so sweet...
one of the best dramas i've ever seen
touched my heart in not only about love...but in a way of life too ^^
made me understood some things...or rather...open my mind about life
it's still on tv =D
8tv. weekdays 7pm. =)
still long way to go...must watch XD
p/s: there's no better actor to play the main character other than ZaiZai XD
aiyoh...eyes swollen till it hurts le lah =X
ben dan! >.<"
Thursday, January 25, 2007
retreat...
bloggie...
amidst the misery i was suffering during my b'day, i came to knowledge of something...
something that made that birthday misery seem insignificant
something that shattered my heart into pieces
all on my birthday itself...
as though the pain i was suffering was not enough
n someone had to add salt on the wound
but i was glad though...
glad that i finally came to light about the truth
the truth that was responsible for many a sleepless nights n countless heartaches
learning that, i felt rather relieved...like a huge burden lifted off my shoulders
it was like i finally found the answer that i've been searching for so long
so that was why things were that way
despite that...the pain of learning the truth was inevitable
i felt hurt.....i felt...used...betrayed....
i didnt anticipate the answer to be this...it was worse than i expected
if it was like this...then how come?
why treat me that way?
m i that easy to manipulate?
how can someone be so....heartless?
i cant help but feel a ball of fury burning inside of me...
how could i be such a moron to believe whatever that happened before?
gosh...i'm such an idiot to be hoping n wishing for so long
it's barely 1 month from the start of new year n i failed my resolution
anyway...glad that i found out
i can move on n not linger around anymore
but i need a break from all of this...alone
i seriously need a break...get away from everything
my home, the computer, the internet, my phone...
i'll be going away tmr >.<"
wont be at home...my phone wont be with me at all times n of course...i wont be online
n i dont know when i'll be back...
until then...i know i'll feel better when i'm back =)
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
lonely n miserable 18th
dear bloggie...
how wrong was i when i thought i was numb this year
little did i know it was gonna be the worst year of all
it's not so much the loneliness at home
i hate it when friends ask
'didnt go out celebrate ah?'
what m i to reply?
no...stay at home all day
then they will be 'aiyo...why so pity? nobody celebrate with u ah?'
it's sad enough that i have to be alone
i dont like to be reminded that nobody's celebrating with me thank u very much
when i woke up i was alright...
still fine...n still smiling cuz it's my birthday =)
but it all changed when a friend said something to me
it pierced straight through my heart...
how can he be so cruel n say such a thing? doesnt he know how i feel?
how can someone just mock n insult a friend u've known for years now
zzz...how i wish i didnt know him in the 1st place
since then i shut myself in my room n cried till i sleep
n i havent been able to stop since then
i just wanna sleep through it
another thing
u're bz i know...but still it's not my fault
n why is it my fault when i m bz on the other days that u suggested?
why must u scold me?
m i not hurt enough already?
i really dont wanna be so negative
but what can i do?
seriously tell me....what can i do?
it's bad enough that nobody cares
i got scolded twice because it's my b'day n because i'm sad n moody
wtf did i do wrong?
n seriously dont tell me that next year will be better
i dont wanna hear it
i've been believing that for 17 years now that next year will be better
but wat?
it's only been getting worse n worse
i'm still all alone
n nobody cares
not even my family
i didnt get even one call from my family
sigh...crap too much le...
sorry
i shall go hide under my covers n weep till no more tears again
18
=)
well...big girl already...
officially free~
just hope the tears this year wont be as much as previous years =X
since i got nothing to wish upon...
my birthday wish is - ......
secret lah *winks* <3
cannot tell out lehh...shhh...else it wont work XD
thx alot for those who wished =)
Monday, January 22, 2007
home alone
>.<"
this is seriously depressing...
i was fine during the day...
doing some research on the web, folding n ironing clothes, cooking rice...
but as the day goes on, i seriously cant help but feeling lonely =(
since i woke up i'm alone!! T.T
even now >.<"
when i was doing my things i felt like...
gosh~ so this is how it's gonna be like tomorrow
only it's much more saddening
eee....i cant find anything else to do now >.<"
SOB T.T
msn is very tempting u know... *drools*
but what's the point =.=
sign in n i will feel more depressed knowing that no one will msg me
plus i dont wanna feel even more sad when the clock strikes 12 later
sweat...i'm too bored i'm crapping here =.="
sigh~ really............
my god...how m i gonna go through 1 more month of torture!
seventeen
bloggie.......
as much as i try to avoid it, time still passes...the earth still rotates
n today is still my last day of being seventeen!
gosh...time passes so fast >.<"
i...errr...
dont know what to say leh =X
i dont really wanna start recalling things that happened
else tears will well in my eyes again >.<"
but still...1 year made me grow up alot...
i guess for me...i matured from the experiences i've been through
i am no longer that small naive girl? lol
thanx to the obstacles that made me fall
i see life in a new light now...
though it's not much difference from my previous perception
at least now i learnt how to appreciate life
n understand that sometimes...more often than not, we wont get things that we hope for =(
18...such a big number...
huge huge leap from 17 to 18...
with 17 i can still be young n naive n innocent =P
18...gosh >.<" i'm big already @@"
i'm not ready for it yet....
although i know that i still wont escape the loneliness n tears that will befall me tmr...
at least this time im numb enough to not hope for anything lolx
or...to plan anything =.="
perhaps i should have faith that i will go through it happily
but 17 years of experience taught me that its better to not hope for anything
all hopes end in despair~ =(
plus something i've learnt on the way - the higher the expectation, the bigger the disappointment...lol
depressed
hey bloggie,
was watching the arsenal vs manU match a while ago...
up till manU conceded a goal...then i lost interest =.="
lolx...i'm like that =P
everytime after mU conceded goals n i know they have no hope of winning...
i simply didnt wanna watch anymore =X
omg~!! arsenal scored another goal while i was typing this!
damn........heard those cheers n i knew it =.=
dumbo...extra time leh! wth is mU doing??!! grrr...
n to think that after 80+ mins i was thinking that arsenal didnt have time to score anymore goals =.="
guess they proved me wrong by scoring 2!!! T.T
well...i was doing fine since the last post...
managed to divert my mind off that thing >.<"
even so my heart felt bitter all the time...
cant blame it...no matter how hard one tries to cover a wound, it still hurts underneath its surface...
yet i still didnt do things that i promised myself not to
oh i succeeded alright...for a whole day!
that took lots of effort n patience n self control >.<"
i thought i had it...until...until...
sigh~
how i wished now that i didnt succumb to it
i would be hurting much less now...much much less...
oh well...at least the few blows after that did me good
made me realize that what i've been doing all along is dumb
really hit me well...aimed straight at my heart lol
n it's been a while since i last cried so painfully
but i know i'll be fine =)
in the meantime though...
i think i wont be logging in my msn
not that it makes any difference to anybody =X
plus it's utterly depressing for me to face it
hoping n waiting for replies that obviously will never come
but i'll be alright =)
Saturday, January 20, 2007
emo
as the title suggests...that's what i've been feeling lately
ever since i returned home from sg
now if i say i don't know why i've been feeling so depressed
i'm kidding myself =X
i know very well the reason behind this
i guess some ppl knows it as well...
even though i know why...
i can't help it...i really cant >.<"
i'm still drowning in that dream that i've fallen into since dono when =.="
i know i should wake up from that alice in wonderland
it's only a dream...a dream that will never come true...
yet part of me still wants to remain in it
frantically searching the reason that made it crumble upon me
i'm not satisfied if i dont know why...
why??!
one moment everything's so wonderful...
and before i know it...it's as though everything never happened
gahh...
who m i kidding...
it's my fault anyway =X
i know i shouldnt be involved in the beginning
i know very well the consequences of it
despite that...i still fell for the evil clutches of it...
enough is enough !
i guess...i should be really really waking up now
else i would be drowned in more hurt and disappointment
support me aite? =)
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Singapore Part II
Heyya...
gonna finish blogging my trip to sg here...
however, i am in a foul mood right now
so...dont expect any happy posts =.="
lol i actually typed till there last night...
n i was too pissed to continue
so i saved it n typed again today
guess my mood's better suited now bah XD
15 Jan. Monday
erm...went to orchard to shop again in the morning
i hunted far n wide for 1 shop =.=
wasted few hours lerh...sigh~ in the end also cannot find =(
but i bought a few things bah? U2 got sale there ^^ quite cheap compared to m'sia de U2 lor....
then at night went to Vivo again to watch Death Note 2 =D
the show...was AWESOME!! seriously chun *drools*
i know in m'sia its not out yet =D but in sg they have it since last year =.="
so when i'm there i might as well catch it right =D
so i can boast to ppl i've watched when i return to m'sia *weee~!! haha*
anywayz...no point spoil the fun for u guys reading it =D
but seriously chun...there r some funny parts XD didnt know L had humour...keke...
n then this 1...wow he was potrayed wayyy smarter than the 1st episod
i tot it was all gonna be over when....something happened XD
but i cried in the end =( lolx... i know lah...too sentimental >.<"
lol...enough le =D
i gonna watch again when it comes out heree *blehh =P*
16 Jan. Tuesday
well...the last day of my trip to singapore =(
n everybody was getting bored of me LoL....seriously xP
cuz everyday bring me out mar...until no where else to bring me le =.="
places outdoors cannot bring me =( cuz still raining...sigh~
n that day i needed to reload my prepaid...so i headed off to tampines mall alone lolx...
that stupid fella working in singtel kept telling me dont have
but then i checked on the internet...n i received sms from singtel...say i can reload there
n he kept argueing with me say no =.=
n then he turned to his colleague beside him...n asked
his collegue was like 'maxis arh? got ah...go cashier there'
boy...was i furious *grrr...* argued with him so long le... pfft
he could have just asked his friend...lol his face was red after that
but exp lerh >.<" rm8.40 surcharge =.="
after that went to eastpoint mall to shop alone =D too sien
hmm....went back around afternoon n chatted with cousin...
then evening time i went out =)
walked around marina bay...n lots of other places...
the night view by the river very nice ^^
walking by the river...letting the wind mess my hair...blow on my face =D
XD...very soothing.... lol
really enjoyed my last night there =)
thx to that someone ^^
17 Jan. Wednesday
lol...after midnight is 17 jan bah...
was hungry...so miroku ordered mcD...
we sat on the stools at the err...open space area at the hdb >.<"
n eat while chatting lolx....
while we were talking away...there was a couple doing 'aherm' in the park =.=
not that i accuse them of doing 'aherm'
but their actions really =.= too....err.....obscene ady lolxx
free show sia @@"
then there was this baby kitten...kept following us n mewing away !! soo annoying
n miroku was scared of it till he stood on the stool =P light also...lolxx
around 4 like that they kept talking bout ro =.=
i was super bored sia... =X joel realized lolx...
then i went back alone n slept a bit...
lucky they woke me up @@" else i sure miss the train...
ahh...slept the whole journey home...
took longer than usual...dono why =.="
reached home around evening!!
well i guess that's about it then =D
really enjoyed my trip there
thx to everyone who made it possible ^^
Monday, January 15, 2007
Singapore
Hey bloggie...
so far i've been in singapore for ...err...few days now *lazy to count =P*
i kinda enjoyed myself here ^^ dont wanna go back home =/
11 Jan. Thursday
I took ktm *yes again =.=* to sg...not that many ppl bah...maybe cuz now not holidays
cant sleep in train!!! dont know why...1st time i didnt sleep during the whole journey
8 hours! >.<" i was tired...even more so when i didnt slept a wink the night before
well we didnt wanna take cab...kinda exp =X
so we sat bus n then mrt...must thank someone for providing me the info ^^
then when we reached simei it started to rain =.=
n since then it's been raining EVERYDAY!
anyway...didnt do anything much that day
walked jerlynn to the mrt station at night n then walk around east point
stayed up almost whole night again when my cousin came in my room
n we chatted soo long till we slept eventually =.=
12 Jan. Friday
Went to visit NUS in the morning with miro n kenny n jerlynn
gosh...that place is BIG @@" super big...
luckily they brought us there...else i think we will get lost =X
to get to 1 faculty to another there need to sit shuttle bus somemore leh @@"
super big...somemore so nice...
how i wish i can study there >.<"
anywayz...i settled my things there...changed my 1st choice to medicine lol
but i doubt i can get tho...just for the sake =.=
after that we went to orchard...walked around n eat
then we went to bugis lolx
spent quite alot ler T.T bought a few stuffs too ^^
at night went to bedok to eat...with lotsa ppl
around 10 bah? @@"
but they all talk bout ro =/
i was soo blur there lerh...quite sien also >.<"
got back quite late...almost midnight @@"
n the door was lock! luckily yihan saw me through the glass door
else i nonit to go in le =.=
13 Jan. Saturday
erm....went out in the morning...
walked from orchard to plaza singapura then off to raffles err mall? then suntec and marina square =.=
Oo saw the famous fountain of wealth too ^^ but too bad it's like in the daytime...
i guess at night should be nicer bah ^^
just walked around lah...lol quite exp the things...so i dont shop here de
had some great time there =)
at night went to tampines to meet up with a few friends ^^
eat le watch movie >.<"
Pans Labyrinth...very gruesome!!!
maybe im not used to seeing those geli scenes >.<"
cuz in m'sia...my whole life of watching movies there r like...they censor almost everything!! pfft
so i wasnt exposed to those horrifying scene
not bad lah...adult fairytale lolx...
after that went back le ^^
at midnight i was hungry =/ so i dragged yikai out to eat =P
miroku n joel lah!! dont dare to meet me /pif
after we ate i printed out a few photos from the instant photo print...lol
at like 1am =X too sien =D
i think i slept quite late that night...cant recall wat i did after that @@"
14 Jan. Sunday
supposed to go Sentosa...but sooo many ppl cannot make it =.=
in the end left me n baobao only T.T no fun lah 2 ppl go
well...it was raining also....so no point going =.=
bao n kor brought me to VivoCity...the newest mall in Sg...
quite...nice lah...but nothing to shop =.=
walked around then had dinner at Kim Gary =D
didnt realize Sg got also...but only got 1 outlet =.= that's in vivo lolx...
the food all same lah...prices...double =.=
we finish eating ady only miro n kenny came...always late de lol
erm...went back early too...
wanted to go out at midnight to yumchar with them...
but then everybody almost slept...so later nobody open door for me =D
stayed up reading book...till i fell asleep
well i guess that's it...
today...going orchard to shop again lol
then watching Death Note 2 later XD
weeee~!!!! m'sia i guess around feb only showing...
cant wait...i lurveeee that movie XD
today never rain...AT LAST!
hope it stays sunny =)
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Insomnia =.=
Bloggie!!
I cannot sleep =X
funny u know...
i slept at 11+ just now...n i slept very soundly =)
just lie on the bed, hug my bolster, close my eyes...then i'm off to dreamland ^^
BUT
i woke up at 114 am =.="
i dont know lerh...i remembered stirring in my sleep...
but i didnt wanna wake up >.<" then i realize my eye hurts...
i dono i cried in my sleep anot cuz got dried tears >.<"
then i woke up n rub my eye then since then cannot sleep ady!!!
i tossed n turned for 1 hour! n i still feel like waking up
sigh~
why ah? funny...everytime i need to wake up early the next morning i cannot sleep the night before...
i read my previous posts just now...n i realized last year i was also having the same prob =X
nvm lah...sleep in train later...long 10 hour journey...sigh~
anyway....was kinda emo today =X
listen to all the emo songs >.<"
then i read the posts from the most vulnerable month of my life - Dec 2005
sigh...no words can describe wat i was feeling that time
reading back those sweet posts...then in a month nia such drastic change...
very sad >.<"
gahh...dont think le =X
2 more hours...what to do lerh?
abit depressing lerh sit here stare at comp
listening to emo songs again >.<"
later i'm off to sg...
got 1 week to enjoy...
gonna shop there >.<"
im gonna buy myself something...something i wanted for very long
something that i bought for that someone a year ago >.<"
that thing that stirred my memory when i saw it few months back there...
ahh...hope it's still there T.T
then meet up with some friends
hope i will have fun there lah ^^
dont know i will get to blog there anot
cuz i wont be online-ing much...unlike last year
sitting there waiting for that someone to reply
ahh...forget it =X
i'm gonna enjoy myself ^^
be back in a week's time XD
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Mood swing
I realise my mood changes very fast
1 moment i was listening to Tokyo Drift - teriyaki boyz catching the beat
and after thinking bout some stuff...
my mood dropped to an all time low...and im now listening to 忘了爱 - Toro
very very very emo.
sigh....yesterday i was quite busy...
went to Taylor's to find my cousin
was lucky to park right in front of college during peak hours
saw Ms Kwa n Ms Tiew n Mr John n chatted with them
makan at Asia but was in no mood to eat
wasted my nasi lemak as i was too nervous
drove to APIIT
wasted rm4.40 on toll
met that someone n exchange back phones
was too blur yet i was calm
still calm while driving back
then i saw something n my mood changed totally
*shit...First Love is playing on wmp now...why play that song...brings back such sweet painful memories*
wasted another rm4.40 on toll on the way back
*damn...that's rm8.80 toll =.= not counting the petrol somemore*
played pool when there were no electricity
even though i was playing my mind wasnt there
thinking bout sad sad things
lost twice - proves that i suck in pool
went to Pyramid to watch Love Wrecked
sucky show but can watch lah
bought another 2 books for my book addiction
drove back home in a very unstable mood
was very very sleepy n tired n sad that i slept early
yeap...that's about it
dont wanna talk bout yesterday anymore...
too sad
oh well...that's the last time i'll see him
finally i can force myself to forget *that's abit harsh >.<"*
even though i'm feeling like shit now
on the verge of crying
but i promised myself...n i'm going to keep my promise
today i went to Klang KTM station to buy tix to Sg
met a friend there...
quite funny lolx...
he was like 'hi! long time no see...how are u?'
'oh hi'
'wat r u doing here?'
'err i came to buy things'
'HAR?! u come train station to buy things?' *very very shocked look on his face @@"
'LOL...yah...buying train ticket lah'
'oh...go where?'
'err Singapore'
'har?! u buy and go singapore NOW?' *another shock lol
mind u, i was wearing short pants n home clothes with specs n very messy hair LOL...
sigh...i guess i'm fine now
no point lingering around the past
thinking bout things that obviously will only hurt myself more
i'm off to Singapore to enjoy in 2 days! XD
hope i can enjoy n forget bout sad things lah =)
Sunday, January 07, 2007
night owl
it's been 4 days in a row...going to be the 5th day liao~
arghh...as the title suggests...i'm becoming a night owl !!
cannot sleep >.<"
i would just lie on my bed...lights off...eyes closed
very very tired n would very much like to sleep
but~ after tossing n turning for about an hour...i'd give up =X
after i turn on the lights i would be very very fresh awake!
n then i know i wont be able fall asleep
then i would sit in front of the comp...
play o2jam for hours =/ until my eyes r tired
then i would lie back on my bed n read book till the crack of dawn
when i hear ppl waking up i would be lazy to layan them lol
then slowly fall into slumberland...
i would then wake up when the sun sets...........
zzzzzzzz......more like vampire sia =.=
i miss the sun!! T.T
but i know i wouldnt wanna wake up in the morning...too piggy =X
then i would sit in front of the comp again
either blast songs loudly from my headset n stare at the monitor =.=
that's abit dumb...cuz i dont really chat on msn u see
sit there waiting for replies that will never come =.="
or....continue my o2jam...again...
seriously sien lerh......i think got 6 hours of o2jam a day >.<"
plus now they having double exp...i'm lvling too fast
i'm not up to the standard yet!! T.T
so i'm forced to play with those lvl lower than me...but they still win me
so embarassing >.<"
another thing...just as i thought i was getting a tad better from my fever + cough + flu last night...diarhoea took over @@"
dumbo...getting gastric n diarhoea at the same time...
very suffering lerh T.T
my headaches coming back as well
i think it was from the pigging =X
well...cant do anything much can i? >.<"
erm...i'm too bored at home...
until i resort to going Singapore on my own!!
actually...not on my own lah lolx...with a friend
but when we reach sg we will go separate ways ady...
meaning i'm all alone to roam around sg...
luckily i have quite a number of friends there XD
well...i had to settle some things there u see...
it requires my personal attention *ahemm!!*
haha...university stuffs larh...
plus, i've always wanted to visit NUS...kinda like my dream Uni...
or should i say one of dream unis lolx...
apart from Harvard and Princeton...and Yale and Brown...also Oxford and Cambridge...and the list goes on =P
anywayz...i'm dead bored at home
so i might as well pop there n enjoy myself XD
i m free to go anywhere i want there =D
wee~!! wont be stuck at home anymore
can see friends too ^^
after that...i would have to come back to reality in m'sia
n go to IMU to register myself =(
oh well...many more days to go
enjoy first =)
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Growing fungus =.=
Bloggie!!!!!
I am SO SO bored....
currently taking my temperature...
stupid thermometer not working /pif
too sien at home till i fall sick ady larh!
very unhealthy lerh~
nowadays ah....
wake up 6pm...stuck in front of comp
watch tv...read book
6am sleep till 6pm again...
my god =.=!
super sien...
i'm growing moulds ady larh~
anyway...i got a call from IMU yesterday
seems that they decided to extend their offer to me
and also 4 others i know who got rejected in the 1st place @@"
looks like u will get in if u get >TER95 lolx
that puts me in dilemma u see >.<"
well...i kinda consoled myself having not accepted into IMU
and i've started looking for other options...
i was almost sure that my route would be Monash...
n if NUS offers me...i take their offer...
that kinda simplifies things...cuz i dont have to pay too much for Monash
but now >.<"
if i decide to go IMU, i have to pay rm28k for sem1 =X
huge huge sum!! @@"
now if NUS offers me later on...
n i decide to take up their offer, i will lose that rm28k!!!
being in a poor poor family...i really cannot afford to lose that huge amount of money
even now i have problem paying that rm333k for IMU...
my parents really cannot afford >.<"
i overheard them argueing...cuz my dad didnt want to pay...haiz
if i decide not to take up IMU's offer...n wait for NUS
what if they think i'm not good enough for them n reject me T.T
and then i will waste 6 months here...
i'm already half dead now...
and it's only january the 6th
i dont know how m i gonna survive till august...
Sigh...what am i to do?
it's either i sacrifice time or money >.<"
not only that u know...every step i take will change my life forever
2 totally different routes...
big big decision...
if i go IMU...i would get to study medicine n be a doctor
my life would be tough no doubt =X n i might be single LOL
if i go NUS...i would be a scientist n wont come back to M'sia
i think this 1 earn more money >.<" but no future...
arrghhh....i dont know what to do now~
haiz......................
u know i'm kidding myself again
i dont know what m i hoping for
stupid me...
6th day into 2007 n i'm already threatening to break my new year's resolution
i must must learn to not hope for anything!!!!!
i think i'll go read my book
i'm becoming a book addict nowadays...
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Reality Check
Dear bloggie,
it's been quite some time since i posted anything depressing here lolx...
these few days i've been trying to refrain myself from thinking crappy things...
i kinda succeeded u know...
was happy during xmas and new year...
tho...there will be times in the middle of the night where i cried >.<"
but at least...the loneliness wont loom above me during the day...
only times when i'm alone and lonely in bed at night =)
but now i realize...i am alone =(
dont know why i'm feeling that way
maybe cause...
seeing ppl so happily...
with someone to care for
yet me...
even those that i can click well with
seems that...after everything returns to normal...
they dont even bother anymore
aisk...
think too much >.<"
Monday, January 01, 2007
2007 Resolutions
New year...new resolutions
1. Study hard and enjoy whatever course i end up taking >.<" be it medicine or biomedical science or science...
2. Take occasional breaks to go on holiday at a beach or some nature park XD
3. Start exercising for good health =P Jog or swim at least once a week
4. Keep my room tidy and clean all the time!
5. Enjoy life more and try not to think negatively >.<" *gosh...hard one*
6. Learn to cook more dishes!! *must learn to be a good cook ady lolx*
7. Try to be more lady-like lolx...as in talk gentler and less harsh?
8. Not to be over-indulged in things that are no good for me...meaning to not get addicted with some things @@"
9. Not to isolate myself from others always...spend more time with friends and family =.="
10. Be more clear of what i m feeling towards people and not let touching gestures cloud my judgement... *in other words...love and serious relationships is not what i'm looking for*
Let's hope i can keep to this eh? =)
Happy new year 2007
HaPpY NeW yEaR~!!
i'm now at mich's house in kk lolx...
too bored nothing to do so might as well blog bout my new year's eve
well...we went to Genting to celebrate new year =.=
quite funny u know...cuz u the sg gang kept pestering me to join them in genting
n it's kinda hard for me to go up u know...parents, transportation, company...etc
so i know i wont be going up there...
but then...wat a coincidence...
mich's dad suggested that we go countdown in genting =.="!!
without her even asking...lolx...
yeah well...we went there at night...
walked around with mich while her parents n aunt went Casino...as usual =.="
so erm we walked around lor...sooooo many ppl...
i dislike crowds >.<" so i dont have the mood to shop
oh...we met up with them... @@"
at 1st it was the gang that we know...
n then came the err...other players from RO...
i felt so isolated sia...dont know them at all
intimidated by them larh =P
alot ppl @@" in the end took pics then parted ways...
that time it was around 10 bah...we went with the gang from sg that we know ^^
they wanted to go Ripley's n haunted house...
but me n mich didnt want to >.<"
so left me, mich, light, juliana, n joel XD
we wanted to sit at Starbucks geh while waiting for them...
then we passed by Baskin Robbins...
31% discount!! XD
so they bought a bucket of ice cream n we shared lolx...
so small sia the spoon @@" quite fun lah eat ice cream like that XD
by 11+ they were not done...
but we kinda wanted to see the fireworks u see...
n it's kinda far...we were at 1st world n the fireworks will be up there in Genting hotel...
felt bad larh >.<" we kinda dump them =D
waited too long le larh...who ask them so slow =P
so we headed to Genting hotel...n wow @@"
the lobby n the entrance was packed with mountains of ppl!!
cannot move sia...we had to squeezeeee
but at last we kinda got separated...
light n gf went up to their room...so me, mich n joel went out the porch area to wait for the fireworks...
alot alot alot of ppl lor...the whole open space area...not 1 space was empty...
but we managed to get outside...in the nick of time XD
the countdown n fireworks were AWESOME!!
my best countdown ever! *but then cannot really count lah cuz i've only been to like 3 countdowns >.<"*
the 15 mins fireworks display was truly breathtaking ^^
diff kinds u know...n we were at the best seat in the house =D
the fireworks were above us...n directly in front of us...
so big lerhh...there were times where the whole sky above us were filled with it
happy ^^
well what i wanted was for the others to enjoy it as well...
but left me, mich n joel =.= good enough larh lolx
pity others larh...wasted they missed this...
it was so many times more worth than ripley's n haunted house =P
anywayz...the crowd we had to squeeze through before the countdown was NOTHING compared to the everybody trying to get back in the hotel =.=
my god...that was the worst crowd ever...
thousands of ppl trying to push thru a few narrow doors >.<"
squeezed like tuna =.=" we had to hold on to each other's back sia @@"
n there were these bigshot VIP's coming through
n we were shouted at from the polices...pft
think they so big arh...the squeeze was hell man
luckily it was at genting so it's kinda breezy ^^
i like the weather there XD
after that...me n mich gotta go back le...
so cant say byebye to others =(
but then that time the parking lot was jammed @@"
so her dad decided to try his luck at the casino again for another hour... *sweat*
well then i get to say goodbyes to them XD since they r going back today lolx...
i had to walk from the theme park to highlands hotel =.=
so far...15 mins walk ahh!!
by the time i reach the hotel room...i was out of breath =.=
i just got in n told them i came to say bye
n just a sec later mich called n said gotta go back ady lolx...
wat larh...walk 15 mins just for a 1 min goodbye
luckily got ppl accompany me back down...or else i kinda scared sia =P
*thanx thanx ^^*
cuz of that...we kena tease larh =.= faint larh
ppl gentleman only mar! too sien no topic to talk only tease us arh /pif
yeah well...that's all i guess
i enjoyed myself ^^
n i hope they had fun too XD
happy new year again~ =)