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Hello...
i've been missing for quite a while...
got lots of things to say...just no time to post...
i shall start from few days back then =D----------------------------------------------------On friday i went back to M'sia mar...so i was preparing to board the bus...was handing over my luggage to put at the compartment when the guy said'1 Utama ya...''hai hai' << Japanese ??? 'apa?'@@" 'ohh...ya ya'OMG! how can i...! see larh...too much japanese till confused ady =.="-----------------------------------------------------When i was back in M'sia i didnt study at all!! not a bit...really too tired...n was in no mood to study...most of the time was trying to set back my biological clock to normal timing...but it didnt work =(Sunday was my bro's wedding dinner...the night b4 that i was hunting for dress around klang area...SO hard to find ok! especially given the time constraini walked finish the whole of jusco n klang parade...then i was like....ok shit...im out of places to find now...no more ady...HOW?in the end i went back to some shops to look again lor...got 2 dresses for the price of 1...not bad looking too...quite happy =Doh yeah...before the dinner...my cousin dragged me to lowyat plaza which was behind the dinner venue...i was wearing a dress!! luckily she had extra jacket...but i still looked funny with a oversized sweater n a shiny skirt =.="thought she wanted to buy webcam geh...mana tau is to meet her bf! cheh....in the end oso never buy the webcam...tsk tsksee them hug here hug there i felt so out of place =/anyway...the wedding dinner was okay bah...the place was nice...food was ok...a very small dinner...just a few tables...but it's the 1st time i see my bro so happy lolx =Dhe was smiling the whole time!although he always smile normally...this time can feel that he was really happy =)hope he'll be happy forever bah...n im waiting for more nieces n nephews!! XDhere's him n my dai sou...
me n phoebe! she's so grown up already!!! no longer the baby i like to play with =(
we were trying to squeeze 3 ppl in the pic...them lah...want me to hold the camera...in the end turn out so weird =/ 
camwhoring in the toilet xP
----------------------------------------------------My exams!! gosh...so far it's been...bad! =(i came back on Monday...was super tired...n i had 2 papers the next day...my CS paper was....gahhh~ super hard!as usual no time to complete the paper...n so many interruptions with the lecturer kept changing the questions...at least 4-5 times!somemore that was the 1st time i really had no timei was still writing when he said 'stop writing...anyone found doing so will be deemed as cheated' @@"but i was only left with a few sentences!! =(then while he wasnt looking i scribbled a few sentences hastily...really very hastily...couldnt even read my writingn my indentation n braces all wrong!aiyah...heck...i already screwed that question anyway =(the next paper was SS...seriously...sigh...really screwed this 1 tooi tried doing a few past year papers...the questions were very standardcan see for 4 years straight the questions were almost exactly the samen this year....identical too!well...the problem is...i dont even know the answers to the past year questionshow does it even help jek? =(the questions were hard...answers not in the book nor the notes...n nobody knows the answers...so...even if i tried doing i wouldnt know if im correct or notsame with this year too...think i screwed quite alot...essay also dont know how to write T.Tsigh...................then today i sat for my biodiversity paper...omg! i m so lucky!shall go to that later....the paper was quite hard...n the plants questions were....impossible!the 1st question itself...the answers all specific species name!all never see before 1!!! even open book also how to find wor!then i skipped to the next 1...same! this time the species even more weird...n the following few questions all asked us to choose 1 species...wahlau....the name all so weird n never see before...all also simply choose de larh! =(no time to find...n some dont think book got also /pifi dont like that plant lecturer! like trying to make us fail liddat... =(it was quite okay for the animals part...then microbiology part...gahh...same thing again =.="there was 1 question...What disease does the bacterium Helicobacter Pyori cause in humans?i was thinking...shit...book where got jek...dont think i read it!!ehh...wait wait...i remember he mentioned in lecture'now the species that i like alot...Helicobacter Pyori...it is the common cause for xxx in humans'!!!!!!! how come i can remember the sentence he said but just that part i forgot! T.Tthink hard!!!sigh....forgot ady larh....simply choose 1 then =(so i chose the name which suits it most...n then moved on...then 5 minutes before time...i was checking the book for the plants species...i was flipping the very thick biology textbook when i saw a picture of an ulcer...i almost wanted to continue flipping when i saw...Helicobacter pyori...common cause for peptic ulcer disease...@@"OMG! SO LUCKY...i didnt know that book has it....i didnt have the microbiology textbook see...wahh...at least i saved myself from losing 1 mark =/but overall...the essays quite bad...animals essay i wrote too much...which resulted in me not having sufficient time for others...then microbio essay i dono how to answer also...so simply crapso...yeah...so far i screwed all the papersdoubt it would be any better for the remaining 2...at least i get to rest for a few days 1st....i dont wanna study tonight! i wanna relaxxxxx =(
Friday, April 25, 2008
i knew this would happen again...
chehhh...
i dont like larh~!!
every night i tried to sleep
n it would be fine...i would be yawning n feeling very sleepy n tired
but as the second ticked away...
i would be more n more awake
then after few hours i would be soooo frust that i gave up
arghh...somemore that resulted in me having gastric this morning
yesterday morning i had class mar...
i was seriously contemplating not to go already cuz i feel so tired
but then i really dont wanna feel guilty after that
so i went...
oh god....
by 9am i was the only 1 in the programming lab...
i was thinking...shit...cannot be me alone wat........
then 9.05am he came in n saw me
'hello'
normally we dont say hello back cuz alot ppl there mar...
but then now only me alone takkan lah i so rude...
'err...hi'
'only u alone?'
*looks around* 'errrr...i think so'
then he looked so....sad n disappointed!
'i think we wait for more ppl...i'll be back in 10 mins time'
'ohh...ok'
by then i was sooo nervous...cuz sooo awkward wat
u know how weird would it be i was really aloneee
if it's my previous lecturer i wouldnt mind so much
but im scared of this lecturer >.<"
he's.....abit weird =X
10 mins later...
*pops his head in*
'still only u alone?'
'errr....i think so'
by then he jus looked down for like...sooo long
looking so...disappointed...
=X very hard to read his thoughts...
he's 1 of the hardest person to read that i encountered b4 =/
'u think more ppl will come?'
'i dono?'
that time i think he really wanted to cancel the lecture ady...
i wouldnt mind...it was sooo awkward!!!!
'ok...' *looks down n thinks hard again*
after quite some time...
'i think we wait somemore'
*storms off the lab*
@@" he's weird!!
i was seriously scared by then...super awkward!!!!
after 5 mins i saw a familiar face!!!!
a guy from my lecture group walked in...
gosh i swore i almost jumped up n hugged him!!!! =/
i was sooo relieved i think i looked at him quite a few times
really wanted to say 'OMG! luckily u came! u know how awkward it was jus now?'
but then even though i was very happy then i was still shy =X
then he turned n asked me if there's a lecture today...
i was like
'YESSS!!!!!! luckily u came!!!! if not it would be me n him alone!!!!'
'har?'
'er....nothing lah...he's just waiting for more ppl...heh'
i tell u har...i dono wats wrong with those ppl
after 30 mins only they slowly come in 1...
somemore after 1 hour still ppl showed up =.="
in the end there were 7 of us i think....
good enough arh~ better than me alone only rite! =(
but then...after 1 hour or so i started to feel gastric pains in my stomach T.T
i think cuz for the past week i wasnt awake during that time
so my gastrointestinal system abit screwed up =/
really very pain >.<" until i couldnt concentrate
somemore i was planning to go a few places to settle some stuffs
but after the lecture i really couldnt so i headed back
on the way to buy porridge in pgp rite...
gosh... another embarrassing thing happened again
i was walking down the stairs from the 2nd floor of the new canteen...
the stairs r very...er...in a very strategic place....
facing all the chairs n tables...
ppl just look up can see ady...
so i was walking down...
then suddenly i fell down!!!! T.T
i slipped a few stairs down...god i can feel all those eyes on me =/
so xia sui larh! n i still have to stay around to tapao food =.="
still hurts...sigh...dono y so suey
after that i went straight to sleep le bah
n now i cant sleep!
5 hours + more to my bus ride
SO LONG!!!
do wat jek...
i dont have the mood to study =(
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Bloggie....
as the title above =(
cuz my biological clock is so screwed up
n very not synchronized with the Earth
i really am losing track of the day n time
everytime i wake up i must think really hard wat day is it =.="
i m quite afraid that i will forget that it's friday
then miss my bus back home =X
*wont happen wont happen*
today is....err...wednesday!
eh? nono...after 12 ady...it's thursday rite?
SEE!! T.T
ok means tomorrow im going back to M'sia...
tomorrow tomorrow...must remind myself....
but tomorrow is more than 24 hours away!
eeshhh...im so blur!
actually cannot blame me also mar =(
cuz i havent yet spend thursday...
i have a cs lecture tmr! as in later today! =/
u must be thinking...wth? so late into study week n so near finals still got lecture?!?!?!
well...it's a make-up lecture as my lecturer was err...absent for the last few lectures...
actually...it's me who's suey =/
cuz we have 3 lectures for cs
n i'm quite free to go for 2 of the 3 lectures
sometimes if im busy rushing assignment on tuesday i will go for the friday 1
but u see...every lecture i go he sure wont be there 1 =.="
dam suey i tell u =.=
i dono y pin pin he chose those days to not appear
make me wait for 2 hours + everytime...
so i missed quite a few lectures...n he didnt have make-up lectures for some
that's y i have to go tomorrow...
somemore i dont understand the last few lectures at all!! it's so hard! =(
actually quite funny...
yesterday morning i was flipping through cs notes...
then the last few lectures i read n read i still dont understand T.T
i was thinking...die lor liddat....
then when i was about to shut down my laptop to go to sleep
i sunpin check my email...
0.o...i got an email from the lecturer saying there's a make-up lecture
so i was like...wah! such a coincidence...
oh...forgot to mention...he sent the email at 5.54am =.=" wat was he doing awake then?
then i decided to go already since it's my last chance to understand =/
then i read....
Dear CS1101 students,
.....make-up lecture
time : 9am
venue : ***
Thanks
---xxx.
?????
which day wor???? never mention 1 =.="
*sweat*
then i was thinking...cannot be today rite? as in yesterday
cannot be that he inform at 6am then the lecture at 9am wat
liddat too late ady...who would check their emails so early
except ppl like me larh =X
then erm...i emailed him lor...n he sent another email informing the day...
sigh...now how wor...
i can stay awake until it's time to go for the lecture
but i'll be a zombie during the lecture larh! =(
dont think i can concentrate....
i wanted to sleep...
n i did slept for abit just now...
was so sick of studying everyday n not feeling well =/
but only for like half an hour =.="
then i suddenly woke up...very wide awake in fact...
but im still sick of studying...
sick of cs ady larh~!!~!~~!!!
i dont understand at all!!!!
encapsulation...polymorphism...interface?!?!?!?!
shen me dong dong mar =(
sigh...think i shall go n take a bath now
hopefully i'll feel refreshed enough to start studying again =(
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
i dont want to study!
barely few days into studying week n im giving up already
it's gotta do with the subject im studying also...
programming methodology
=(
it's like....maths!
cannot study 1 arh =.="
how to study jek....
for me it's more to applications n stuff...
as in...if i understand the concept
then done!
at least bio or wat it's more reading n understanding
but there r lots of stuffs to read n slowly understand n memorize...
cs is just...dead =/
i really dono wat to study.....
n the questions in the exams r not plain simple
not testing on our knowledge of java
more like testing on how fast our brain can twist =(
i dont want to study le larh....
the more i flip the pages of the book the more frustrated i m
i'll be thinking 'i already understand this lor...wat to study jek'
not that im boasting or wat
it's just...for this subject
really more to...applying the knowledge mar
knowing the formula doesnt mean that i can answer the questions =.="
got a feeling i'll screw this 1 too =X
n the lecturer cheat us 1!
for our midterm...in 1 hour n 30 mins we had to solve 4 ques
but we didnt have enough time...
so he asked us what's the main prob of that test
for most ppl it's the time constrain mar
so he was like...
'oh ok lor...then i know what's the prob ady'
'for finals 2 hours...i'll just remain with 4 ques so u have enough time to do'
but then..............
i just saw the format...6 questions!!!
worse rite........
can die
i dont want to study arrrrrhhhhhhh
i wanna give up =(
Monday, April 21, 2008
dear bloggie....
u know i expected my sleeping habits to be screwed up
but then it's getting worse =(
i thought i could sleep before dawn breaks
n then wake up well before dusk
but it seems like...im having lots of trouble sleeping
yesterday after sooo many hours of studying
i was tired n couldnt concentrate anymore...
so i tried sleeping....but to no avail =/
was tossing n turning for few hours before i gave up
i was tired...couldnt study anymore...
but i was so frustrated that i couldnt sleep
so i switched on my comp again...
that time i didnt know wat to do
that i had a sudden impulse to play o2jam...
but then i just found out that o2jam malaysia closed down T.T
i really really really wanted to play then
so i installed o2mania LOL...
took quite a while for me to figure out how to use n all
but by morning i was able to make it work n i had a few songs...
even though i was super tired by then
i kept playing =.="
well...this game doesnt need much concentration mar =.=
my eyes wasnt focusing also...
=D finally got game to play...
soo sien to be studying everyday =(
that's y by now i'm still awake
n i really dont bother with trying to go to bed
as i know i wouldnt be able to fall asleep =.="
so might as well wait til few hours later bah
i think...must be the coffee =X
whenever exam period nears i will be consuming lots of coffee...
can finish a whole packet within few weeks in this period >.<"
what with 2-3 cups a night...
think that might result in me not able to sleep as well =.="
arrghh...wat to do now =(
i dont feel like studying anymore....
my brain too saturated already...
i dont think i can input anymore stuff from biodiversity
how how?
o2mania =D
Saturday, April 19, 2008
it's the beginning of the study break
time passes so fast hor? =(
in the blink of an eye it's the end of another sem...
i cannot run away from studying anymore T.T
i dont like study break...
it's the worst time of the sem
my sleeping time will be screwed...
i'll be sleeping during the day
n active during the night =/
my eating habits will be screwed too
n i'll be at my desk the whole time...
i'll be very very stress............
arrghh...
weird enough my immune system will be exceptionally strong during this period
n then signs of sickness will show during the exam period
n finally after the last paper i will collapse =/
i dont have enough time to study! =(
dont like larhhh......
lucky it started raining just now...
at least lifted up my mood abit =/
else it'd be so hot n sticky
n i'd be bathing around 2-3 times during the night alone to freshen up =X
im tired tired tired....
now just started on biodiversity
alot...alot...alot to study....
everything including bacteria, plants, animals
all the kingdoms n the phylums n the characteristics n differences
worst of all...the species name!!
i hate it...so difficult to remember.....
how to remember jek? =(
it's crazy to study all...luckily it's open book
else i wouldnt be able to memorize all those
sidetrack abit...
today hor...someone messaged me on msn...
someone unexpected...whom i didnt contact for the past 1 year
whom i thought we're strangers now
quite a complicated story >.<"
i really didnt know how to reply...
n he was quite...brave to...broach on that subject that resulted in us being like this
n i was surprised at my reaction
i've grown up! more mature than last time =D
even michelle said so ok =P
i dont know...he hasnt been on my mind for quite a long time already
i really dono wat to do =.="
i should get back to studying =(
dont like!
sob!!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
dear bloggie,
as the title suggests...should i sleep or not?
quite long story...
im rushing my microbiology lab report now...
been doing for the past 5 hours ady =(
plus or minus 2 hours of resting n snacking =/
seems like i cannot finish by tonight lerh...
it's not due tomorrow or wat...
but i wanna finish it fast so i can start on my cs lab assignment
then i can start studying for my finals earlier =X
oh...another thing is
i wanna give myself a reason to go to science tomorrow...
if i finish this report then i would have to hand in tomorrow
then i can err...sunpin go check my stats test result >.<"
i dont wanna go all the way to science just to check mar =(
although im abit nervous now
tomoro i dont have any classes there see...
but im just halfway done..........
n then i gotta edit again to cut off 4 pages...
which i doubt i can do it =/
if i sleep now hor...i know i wouldnt be able to sleep so easily
but then if i dont sleep now...i wont have enough sleep to wake up tmr! =(
if i wanna continue then i think it'll at least take till morning bah?
how? =(
anyway....
recently im crazy bout this guy....
like thousands other fans of his =/
this guy is...peter pan LOL
潘裕文 =)
im quite slow actually...
that 超级星光大道 is already 3rd season now
n he was from the 1st season... =X
n before this i didnt like that show >.<"
havent notice him bah =P
until i saw him singing...omg my heart melted
when he sing i'll be soo touched even my hair will stand on its end...really!!
he's just soooo sweet n gentle...
at 1st i didnt think he was handsome or cute...
probably his personality bah
i dono...there's this something i feel whenever i see him on the shows or wat
i cant describe it...but every little movement of his attracted me to him
like how he laughs...how he shrugs his shoulders...
the way the shirt hung on him...
those small little details >.<"
i seldom feel that way about guys... =P
normally i wouldnt notice so much about celebrities
just...like them cuz they're cute LOL
this is different =D
see....cute rite? ^_^
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Dear bloggie,seems like i've been reporting here dailywell...i dont have much human contact nowadays =/somemore nobody chats with me on msn...so...no choice have to crap here lor >.<"for today i had my microbiology test...sigh...wasted...i didnt prepare some materials for the open book testwhich resulted in me not able to answer 1 of the questionsdont care lah...since it's over adyactually i dono y i dont really care...1st time i didnt really mind that i did quite badly for a testfor tomorrow...i have japanese oral interview...i dont care larh~ just simply talk like how i did during the tutorials can adywahh...seriously i really dont care ady >.<"with finals this close...OMG...later i dont care bout finals how =/im quite busy for my last week lerh...microbio test...oral test...i have a 10 page lab report due this friday...n a cs lab assignment due this sunday...what a week =X the last week's supposed to be for us to relaxthe calm before the storm mar...so busy...where got time to study jek~!i havent started studying for my finals arh~~~anyway...my bro's wedding dinner's coming soon...
in fact it is exactly 2 days before my finals
somemore...im starting my finals with 2 papers in a day
whoopeee... -im so dead-
i am going back =/
i like weddings mar! somemore it's my bro!
if i miss this then there wouldnt be another wedding le larh =(
so im going back 2 days before the wedding...
n coming back here on the day before my finals
wish me luck~
n then i know that im going back to enjoy
hopefully i would have done some studying prior to that =/
the wedding dinner's going to be held at some nice place...
but then...there's a problem =X
i dont have a nice dress for the dinner!!! =(
aiyerr....n now no time to go shopping for dresses le larh!
i tell u hor....very frust 1 lerh
everytime i chance upon a nice dress while im shopping
i would love it so much...n i would be very tempted to buy
then i would think think...i buy this for wat jek >.<" no use arh as there wouldnt be any appropriate occassion to wear
then i would just reluctantly let it go!!!!
arrrghh....
so everytime during times like these i would regrettttt~~
y didnt i bought the dress last time jek~! T.T
then i wouldnt have any problems now!!
there was this nice black piece in sub...70% off
very nice cutting...n it fitted me perfectly...
that time i wanted to buy but i couldnt think of a reason to buy
so i just let it go....!!
until now im still regretting T.T
then after that there was this casual dress in 1U
very cheap....should have bought it larh~seriously...i wonder how come i didnt buy it...i was in dilemma for weeks...n when i finally decided to buysold out ady =.=the closest thing i have to it now is this =(
SEE...now where m i gonna get a dinner dress in time? =(
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
same old same old...
i dont know why the more panicky i m
as in the more urgent the situation is n i cannot afford to take time off
the more i feel like slacking off =.=
gahh...used to it
i have microbiology test tmr!
n i can say that i m never present for lectures
for the last 2 lectures...
the 1st 1 i was physically there but mentally somewhere else
i kinda forgot wat was i thinking then...
but then i remembered the lecture was sooo boring til i didnt absorb any word
then the 2nd lecture i was busy rushing my cs lab in my room =/
so yup....im doomed later~
the past few hours i tried to study...
but then arh...my mind was somewhere else again =.="
see...i've been thinking bout the 3 months holiday after my finals =P
*tsk tsk...havent even prepare for finals already thinking bout holidays...*
cuz rite...my finals ending in the beginning of may...
n then i have holiday til august...
long long long summer holiday 0.o
before this i was thinking...i wanna stay here n work n earn money
but then...if i weigh the pros n cons rite
i'll be alone here...>.<" n then staying alone in pgp without anyone is scary........
somemore with the living expenses here...n the accomodation fees
i hardly earn alot =.="
then i thought of going back...
but what m i to do for 3 months at home jek...
i'll be alone also =.="
my bro studying n tuition...so most of the time wont be home to entertain me
*not like he'll entertain me when he's home oso jek =/*
dad working...actually not like it's gonna make any diff whether he's home or not =X
mom either working or studying...either way also only will be home during weekends
means i have no car!
n the nearest train station is 1 hour walk away...
this means i m trapped at home with nothing to do......
i'll be contented by just sleeping the 1st few weeks...
after that i'll be super bored...n will go crazy...really
i wanted to work too...but then without transport...dont think i can =.=
therefore...i've come to a solution =D
i've decided to take special term during the holidays...
that is...i can study certain modules that they offer bah...
cuz hor...nx year i have a 6mc module!! T.T
normal credit is 4mc standard bah...that workload already enough to kill me
n then nx year both sem i have 3 cores...plus japanese n cs...
so...i really dont wanna torture myself >.<"
since they're offering the 6mc module during special term
i might as well take it...
that way i can concentrate on the module more bah...
oh...forgot to mention...it's a 6 hour long lab...
so with my 7 hour japanese module...i can hardly squeeze in my normal sem
it'll be 8am to 8pm everyday *faint*
yup...kinda decided
then im thinking of taking up another gem module...
since i'll be quite free besides the 2 horrible 10am-6pm lab days
might as well make my money worth n clear up as many modules as i can 1st?
the only thing is they'll only offer it if the enrolment is more than 50
let's hope it is yah >.<"
else i really cannot think of anything to do during the holidays
not to mention that the workload in normal sem will torture me nx year
see...kill 2 birds with 1 stone mar...
right? =/
at least i can spend half of the holiday home to rest
n by the time i start to feel bored i would be back here studying ady
omg larh...i cant believe i sacrificed my holidays to study
not like i have any choice do i?
Saturday, April 12, 2008
bloggie....!!
im lazy =(
i ought to study now....
yes larh study again...all the posts seem to be neverending with the word study
i have microbiology test on tuesday mar!! =(
i tell u hor...im surprised by myself @@"
lolx...got reason 1 ok...
well...i dont like libraries...
erm...not dont like libraries larh...
i do like the books collection in the library
n i do go to the library every week to borrow storybooks to read
but that's about it...
i go in...look for storybooks...borrow them n leave...
i just cannot study in the library...
a nono for me...
i tried studying in taylor's library n in imu...
after 5 mins i just couldnt take it =/
well...that's prolly cuz i cannot pay attention in the library
im a....errr.....a very observant person =X
*i know u would think more like a stalker*
but i like to watch ppl...n i've grown to be quite good in reading ppl
so...if im at public places i couldnt help but to watch ppl see
any noise or distraction or movement i would lift my head up n see
that's no good u know...kinda make me cannot concentrate studying in the library
plus...it's too quiet that any sudden or discreet noise would be distracting
as in the ruffling of pages...the whispering etc etc...
so i can only study when im alone with nothing to distract me *nods head*
but then...that's not today's point...
my point is...i went to the library 2 days in a row to study!!! @@"
sooooo not me *tsk tsk /e5*
yesterday night after dinner n bath i suddenly felt the determination to go to the library LOL
oklah not purely to study... >.<"
cuz of the microbio test...it's open book n i dont have a textbook
not worth buying 1 anyway cuz we only need some parts of it
so i needed the book!! it's a reserve book so i can only loan for 2 hours =(
therefore i decided to go to the library....guai lerh? =P
so at 8pm i left for the library...
but i came back quite early last night =.="
was hoping to stay til library closes
but i left half of my microbio notes in my room swt...
n i couldnt study or mark the chapters without the notes =(
so i left...with the book!
it was an overnight loan lolx...
although quite happy i can get the book all to myself for the whole night to study
i couldnt bear sacrificing my saturday morning to go to the library =(
but i had no choice...i had to return the book at 9am this morning... T.T
n so my decision surprised me again @@"
soooo not me again *tsk tsk*
i could wake up so early in the morning on a saturday just to go to the library!!!
really....prolly knocked my head on something before or wat =.=
it was still quite early when i reached the library
that time the photostate service was still closed...
so i had to study there 1st...alone...
quite eerie lerh... >.<"
there were rows n rows of tall book shelves...
it was quite dark n quite narrow...
n i kept hearing sounds...
u never know what lurks around the corner do u? =/
as the book loan was for 2 hours...
i was quite tired by 11am when i had to return the book
i tried studying in the library...but cannot larh =(
so i came back...n i slept...
then when i woke up few hours ago...
no mood to study le larh!!
how~!
like all the determination suddenly gone
eeeeshhhh........
must try to motivate myself again =/
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Dear bloggie,
i'm sad! T.T
today was my last last last tutorial with him =(
there's no more class next week...dono why!
other tutorials n lectures still on...its just this tutorial that's ending this week
somemore it's the least among all tutorials u know! =(
anyway...since it's the last tutorial
i appreciated every single moment spent with him...
LOL sounds abit funny...
nolah wat i meant was...i couldnt stop staring at him >.<"
of cuz when nobody's noticing larh =/
cuz it's the last last time that i can look at him at such a close distance already =(
i was thinking...i must appreciate every second
so cannot take my eyes off him LOL
when the class started he was giving back our quizzes...
that time he was standing right in front of me looking for my paper...
n then i wanted to stare up...but i was shy >.<"
but then i was hoping that he wouldnt find my paper
so i can enjoy him standing in front of me longer LOL
he was so cutee...the serious expression when finding for my paper
then when he found it n looked up n smiled...eeeeeee so cute...
i really couldnt stop looking at him n observing him u know...
that time class havent started...
he was talking to other students at the other end of the class
i wasnt really listening in to their conversation...more like looking at him
i forgot what really happened...
but what i remember was seeing him talking so seriously
then suddenly he broke into a laugh
n unconciously i started smiling widely as well...
really...unconciously...
by the time i woke out of that dream i was like
'EH? OMG how come im smiling so widely...i must look like some soh poh =/'
seeing him smile made me smile too =)
well...today's tutorial was fine i supposed...
he didnt ignore me like he did a few weeks back =P
that time most ppl already performed around 2 or 3 times bah...
time was almost up n there was this last conversation
that time i just felt...pick meee!!!
haha...i dunno...prolly just want him to notice me 1 last time bah =(
so i kept wishing...pick me ok? watashi ne?
then my wish came true =)
then when the class ended...i didnt want to leave =(
normally i would just pack my bag n leave
but i just sat there...waiting for him to say something =/
he said that today was the last tutorial already...
n then...i dunno...
i didnt really pay attention to what he said
that time i was sitting down still...n he was sitting directly opposite me at the desk
all the time while he was talking i kept staring at him
n then i realized he was looking my way too
not directly at me i suppose =(
more like he's focusing his sight behind me or wat =.="
there's no one behind me though...i was hoping he was looking at me! XD
hehe...he did look at me in the end
n i stared back at him...something passed between us...
more like im sending a telepathic message 'sayoonara =('
n he smiled =)
sigh...i so wanted to give him a goodbye hug then =/
sigh...so sad.......i hope he'll be in japanese 2 next sem =(
i know it's quite impossible but i dont wanna be separated from him!
ok lah not like we're ever together or wat =.=
i still wanna see him mar =(
he makes my day! n his class is the only 1 i look forward to every week see...
sigh...
in another tutorial class we had to hand in an assignment...
n inside there was this part where we had to write a message to the tutor
too bad he's not my tutor for that tutorial
if he was...i prolly would write something like
初めて会ったから、ずっと好きです。
LOL...that would be a love letter le hor? then i would fail this module =/
nah...more like i wanna say...
*pardon my japanese...with my limited vocab n grammar...this is all i could manage*
先生、今日までお世話になりました。先生はとてもおもしろいです。そして、親切です。チューとリアのクラスはいつも楽しかったです。私は先生のクラスがとても好きです。先生はいい先生ですよ。私は先生から多く習いました。だから、どうもありがとうございました。
=(
if i had more ability...i would say...
i will miss u T.T
u must be happy k?
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Dear bloggie,
seems like i am posting quite often these few days eh?
although im very busy...i dunno
just felt like typing out
prolly cuz i have no one to talk to these days
so...i can just crap here huh?
u know i always dont like to be alone...
that seems quite er contradictory cuz i always will hide when im emo
sometimes i do wanna be alone with my thoughts
that is normal for ppl...
in fact i think i quite gotten used to it le bah
what with everyday tapao back to my room n ownself eat =/
but i never went out by myself n shop before...
until now...
what i meant was...going out to shopping malls n walk alone
that is still fine
the worst part is when lunch or dinner time comes n u have no choice but to eat alone
it's already bad enough having to tapao up to my room everyday
but to eat outside without anyone >.<"
i dont like that...cuz in m'sia i had the experience twice
n both times ppl come up to me n ask
'wah? u eating alone arh? no friends? y so kerlian 1?'
so if can i try to avoid that...
but today i had no choice see...
after my tutorial in the morning i went to novena square to buy bus tickets to m'sia
while i was there i thought...since im already out
why not just shop by myself...no harm wat? >.<"
so i shopped there...until lunch time bah
my stomach was growling with hunger that time
i didnt want to eat alone >.<" almost decided to hold my hunger
until i saw kfc n i was like...wat the heck...just go in n eat lah!
and so it happened...
it was not that bad actually...
prolly cuz it was still early n not much ppl there
so i wont feel so self concious of me eating alone there >.<"
but as time passed i got used to the feeling bah...
more like i accepted the fact that life onwards will be like this?
lolx...
so as i already decided to spend the day shopping alone
i went to bugis! lol...very random i know
but i wanted to shop for dress for my bro's wedding mar...
n then i had to buy present for someone *tsk tsk /e5* LOL
then i shopped around bugis junction lor...
bugis street too...just that only a few shops open =(
so sad...i really wanted to spend money then LOL
actually shopping alone has its own pros bah...
i can go into any shop i want without feeling guilty that other ppl might feel bored
n i can take as long as i want to browse...
so yeah...bought myself a little something
quite exp actually...but im due for some treat =P
i didnt get to shop much...wanted to go to orchard after that
but i was very tired n sleepy by then =/
i didnt get to buy my dress too!! so hard to find =(
so i went back...quite early still that time
i thought i could escape unnoticed でも、どうして?
確率はとても 小さいですよ
like history repeating itself n this time im the one ね
oh well...
anyway...it is quite alright going out alone sometimes
might do that again when i have the time lolx =P
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
im very tired...very very tired...
for now i just wanna lie down n rest
but i have lots n lots n lots of things to do =(
havent had much of a rest since...i dono how long ago =.=
n i forsee that i'm not gonna get a good day's rest anytime soon
seeing that finals is just round the corner =/
today was a long long day...
it was a continuation from yesterday i guess
i had stats test in the morning which was...
urghh...i dont wanna talk about it =X
then i didnt get to go back for my refreshing bath n coffee
cuz i had practice for my japanese skit...
then tutorial and tutorial...
lastly a meeting which i have no idea what was my purpose there
n then i got back here around 10 =(
sigh....
even though i was super tired n i really wanted to sleep then...
i had to get started on my programming lab assignment
cheat ppl de lor! =(
at 1st i thought that the last lab was the last assignment ady...
then i was sooo relieved...
relieved that i wont feel so stressed every sunday when the lab is due
then suddenly they say got 4 more labs!!!!
Eyer.....n then it came unexpectedly...
by the time i found out i was having PE the next day
it was only until yesterday that i had time to start doing
n it's due tomorrow =.=
so i sat down n started typing...
after 2 hours or so i finished 1 part =.="
such a slow programmer *tsk tsk*
then when i got on the the next part i got stuck!
i couldnt calculate a very simple math algorithm
which resulted in me very stressed...very frustrated...n pulling my hair
i just couldnt get what was wrong...but then i just didnt get how they calculated something
at the end of 4 hours i almost cried T.T
really damn frust....n very angry with myself for not understanding in
so alas i had no choice but to email my tutor n ask for help =/
after that i pretty much couldnt do anything as i was stuck
so i went to sleep...but i didnt really slept =.=
more like waking up every hour waiting for time to past
hoping that morning will come n then i can check my email for my tutor's reply
with that i drifted between conciousness n dreamland every few hours or so
very stressed ah...
by the time i woke up n checked my mail...
>.<"
my tutor had to relay the email to my lecturer @@"
meaning i have to wait somemore...n this time prolly even longer
as i was wondering how in the hell im gona complete my assignment
i saw that 1 word in the email to the lecturer n i realized my mistake *sweat*
such a careless mistake...couldnt believe i'm so dumb =(
i was too hasty that i didnt fully understand the instructions...
now ah...i've seen my email passed around between the lecturers n tutors...
so embarassing! =.="
they must be thinking how come such a simple problem oso i cannot figure out =(
then like that lor...since then i've been sitting in front of my comp coding
6 hours straight of drjava n command prompt =/
finally done~
arrrrrghhh....should feel relieved n that sense of achievement
but with such a careless mistake...im still mad at myself =(
sigh...this cycle will prolly repeat tomorrow when i receive my next lab assignment T.T
Monday, April 07, 2008
dear bloggie,
i....
>.<"
i have nothing much to say actually...
just that...
dono why recently he kept appearing in my thoughts
sometimes in my dreams
which...i have no idea why
it's not the him i kept talking about on thursdays =/
it's the him whose feelings i had for i thought i had forgotten
there was one night long ago when i couldnt sleep
that period of time i was having many sleepless nights
so i resort to listening to slow songs to put me to sleep
which incidentally meant many of jay's songs from his november's chopin
the album which brought back lots of memories
unknowingly as the songs played on n on
i couldnt kept my mind off him...
n tears started forming in my eyes
that night i missed him...so much
as though i was brought back to that period of time when i couldnt forget about him
subsequently the nights after that i had dreams about him
sweet ones in fact...
and now...i feel sad...
i dono why...
im quite sure im over him...
long long ago in fact...
i felt nothing anymore
the feeling's gone...disappeared to a corner of my heart
just that...maybe it just suddenly surfaced for no reason
lolx...i've been too lonely nowadays maybe
it's been quite a while since i've had anyone close to talk to
oh well...
!!!
it's 4am...n i have a test at 10am
great...i will be so...dead tmr =/
good night~
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Dear bloggie,
Today was a busy and tiring day... =(
but nonetheless satisfying...
this whole day was about cs >.<"
computer science mind u...how i wish it was counter strike =.=
morning i had practical exam for cs....
oh god...i had shivers the night before
that's because i havent done any preparation prior to the PE
i was so busy i only started looking through my notes the night before
then when i was staring at it hopelessly...
wishing that it would at least increase my knowledge n skills by abit
it was to no avail
i ended up feeling even more hopeless than before i started revising
my lecturer's right u know....to prepare for this it's not a 1 day thing where u can study
it's about practice n thinking n skills...
the practice on past year papers didnt help either =.=
a 2 hour n 30 mins paper with 2 questions of increasing difficulty
q1 we're supposed to do within 1 hour...i ended up spending 3 hours working on it!!!
q2 no need to say...i dont even know how to start
i kept gaping at the question hopelessly...
by the end of 4 hours i was still stuck at where i left when i started...
with that...i concluded that i am going to fare badly during the PE today =.=
i had no hopes that i will pass u know...
more like mentally preparing myself that i wont be able to do anything then
n just hope that i wont get a 0 =/
but....but....
omg i'm so lucky today! XD
although i won't say that i m confident i did well
i would say that it's not as bad as i expected... =)
i walked in the programming lab with diminished hopes...
when i sat down n read the 1st question...
it was actually quite straightforward...
but my mind's sooo set on the question being hard
that my brain n the question r not on the same wavelength =.=
like...my brain kept thinking it's hard when my eyes r telling me it's not?
ok...crappy example i know =/
but the sad thing was both questions today were on object-oriented programming
esh..my worst part...
i dont get the concept quite well u see....n then i only did it once
n that's somemore my tutor practically gave us the skeleton code
i was progressing for the 1st ques...until the last part
n i realize i ran out of time n i ought to start on the 2nd ques...
kept giving myself extra 5 more mins hoping i would solve it in time
but...sigh...gave up at last...
then i moved on to question 2 thinking it was a killer ques that i wouldnt be able to write more than 10 lines of code =.=
u know the sliding puzzle with pictures that we play during childhood
we had to shuffle the puzzle n let the user play...
well...it was more complicated than the 1st 1...
but i was more comfortable doing it @@"
prolly too much training from sudoku n magic squares n mastermind
when i finished the ques i was so happy i kept testing my program
n grinning that it worked!
where i neglected that i was losing time...with the clock ticking away...
then i moved back to question 1...
i would have gotten it...if i had more time =(
although i kept telling myself that i did my best already...
the perfectionist in me...ok more like kiasuness in me...wanted to make the code perfect =/
i left question 1 there hanging =(
then it was all over...
i was glad actually...glad that i managed to at least squeeze out some codes
n that it's not as hard as i thought =)
that i understood n could start writing...
oh well...it's over now...im so relieved~
after that i had cs lecture from 2 to 5 =.="
when it was done i was soooo tired that i had heavy headaches
practically fell asleep as soon as i hug my bolster =P
n i just woke up!
what a saturday....
n to think that i have stats ca on monday
which i ought to go study now....
it's not over u know....it's a busy busy week ahead...
i must be strong! =(
Thursday, April 03, 2008
dear bloggie,
it's thursday again...time for that weekly update of that certain someone =D
actually...i dont know why i chosen that title...
just felt like putting it there for no reason?
or is it indicating something?
today i'm a good girl u know...went for all the classes LOL
well...i've been skipping most of the stats lecture nowadays u see =X
although im dead tired...i still went
this resulted in me nodding off by 12pm at SS lecture
n subsequently almost fell asleep during japanese lecture
too tired larh =(
dont know why...nowadays my body not strong enough
dont have the energy i used to have a few months back
where i can survive with only 3 hours of sleep at night
n still feel energetic n can pay attention for the whole day the next day...
i shall skip the boring bits....fast forward to the tutorial eh?
so i walked through the door n see him by the table...again
but this time my heart didnt skip a beat LOL
i was sitting there wondering...what is it about him that attracts me?
he's not that handsome...just okay looking by normal standard
very normal...if he were walking on the street i prolly wouldnt look at him
nah...i had the whole class to think about it
n as the class progressed...i slowly liked him again!
actually...in time scale...that was about..5 mins?
in 5 mins time i found back the feeling again LOL
he's just cute =)
his personality n cheerfulness n energy more like?
today...i was sitting there thinking...will he call me out to perform?
as usual lah...whenever he chooses ppl my heart will be beating
got a feeling he noticed me today ya know?
n i was not wrong! =)
the 1st person he chose was me...again!
ok lah~ that doesnt mean anything i know =.=
just let me assume to make me happy lor? lol
he was holding this invitation card...
i was looking down that time...then i suddenly felt a shadow over me...
then i looked up straight into his eyes... O.o so sweet~
*not that romantic actually...exaggerating tsk tsk...shhh~ dont spoil*
then he handed it over to me n started the conversation
i didnt know what to say...cuz the conversation was not in the book
so i just asked whatever i thought of...
it was about him inviting me for his birthday party the next day
i was SO BLUR i kept screwing up...
he kept asking me...can go?
then i saw the schedule on the board wrongly...so i said...err.....errr....dont think so...
then with full of disappointment on his face he said...har? cannot? whyyy?? =(
this time im not exaggerating =P
really...1 second ago he was smiling n excited n his face full of hope
then after i said that there was this smiley on his face =(
see...that's the thing i like about him...so cute~!
but arh....the conversation proceeded until a point where he said his party has got no food
n we need to prepare...this girl said her cooking skills r bad
well...mine is not...that bad...actually...?
but i really dont know how to continue the conversation except following suit...
i mean...if i said i know then wat? =.="
he was like.....'a re???' quite shocked look on his face...
like quite disappointed that i cannot cook?
then straight away 'ok sayounara' *waves*
-_-"
lol...i was thinking...he would like a girl who cooks well huh?
i think too much....
erm...so then....like that lor...
was quite sad after that actually >.<"
he didnt call me out after that...while the girl beside me got called 3 times =(
like...noticed me at the start of the class...
then totally ignored me for the rest of the class...
can stand in front of me n look around without looking at me =.="
but i was determined not to let that spoil my chance!
i have only 2 more classes to see him =(
so sad rite? T.T
i was pretty er....moody after the class actually
not because of him lah...prolly just tired...
very very tired....somemore when i think of the 2 tests coming up
really can faint~
oh yah...i got back my japanese mid term paper today...
by right i should be happy....
was quite shock when i got my paper
cuz i was quite worried before that seeing my neighbours all just passed =/
i didnt do too badly in fact
but i just didnt feel happy for it...
just...ohh~ i see....
i dono...finals coming pretty soon
less than a month ~.~
n i dont think im prepared for it...
before that...
i have programming practical exam this saturday~ god help me......
20%...n i'm quite sure i'll panic like hell
with all those ppl around me typing away like mad...
which will result in me not thinking straight
that means actually can do at home 1 also cannot do already
means i'll flunk it...
which means i'll die
n then i wont have the mood to study for stats CA this coming monday
after all the lectures i skipped...n i havent studied much for it
n that i dont understand...very blur
which will result in me throwing away 25% for stats...
shiet...
ok i shall not be negative...
although i m so tired i can go sleep right now
i must jia you~ ganbatte ne? =(