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実は、誰もいない...
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
hiyo
prolly i should blog less bout depressing stuff
well today...i went for my lectures
which i skipped for umm...countless of times already
but i went anyway today, didnt know how come such a good girl today lol
u see for normal lectures...
it's usually 45 mins...then 10 mins break...
then another 45 mins then the class ends
but for stats...we get longer breaks!
start around 4:10....we get a break at 4:45
n then it'll last til 5:15
30 mins!! lol
after that he'll teach another 15 mins n let us off at 5:30!
haha...fun right?
but then i usually skip cuz i always fall asleep during the lectures =X
then today...
after we had our break he started at around 5:10
n after he talked abit intro for 5 mins...
suddenly someone signed in on MSN on his laptop =D
n then he got stunned n his words hung midway in the air...
we were like LOL
n he said
'actually is my wife lah, she's in UK right now'
'but i think i have to wait for a while more...cannot answer her now'
but then he was like...so anxious to speak with her...
cant wait!! but was holding it in lol
so he was trying to start again...
when his wife requested to share files
n the class erupted with laughters again
his face was like =l...with a slight upward lift at the corners of his mouth
'i think i shall wait for a while more...even though i cannot tahan'
'let u all go off after a while'
'...'
'but i think...in fact i think i let u all go off now'
we looked at the clock...5:15!! @@"
n the whole class was laughing non stop
cheered n clapped damn enthusiastically LOL
cool huh? =D
Saturday, October 25, 2008
dear bloggie,
i dont know what should i do now
i really dont *sigh*
the visit to hospital yesterday was...
traumatizing for me?
guess i know the procedure n all...
went to see the doctor...
then was sent off for tests
i thought it couldnt get any worse before that
but...to my horror my situation is much worse
i almost cried when i found out that it wasnt wat it seemed on the surface
managed to regain my composure
n umm...had to do more tests
but the bill was getting too high that i told the doc i need to consider
at least let me finish my finals
then i'll decide
i feel bad for spending my parent's money
it's not a small amount u know
i...really dono wat to do now ><
Thursday, October 23, 2008
dear bloggie,
i dont know how to start this...
umm...
i realize i've been going to the hospital wayy too often
i mean...2 times in a year cuz of diff reasons
1 time includes countless visits to the hospital see...
it's like becoming my usual hang out spot
spent lotsa hours there few days a week for my finger
n tomorrow i have to go again
i dont want =(
well...i was actually planning to delay seeing a doctor
but then some uhh...unforseen events eventually lead me there
sigh...
i dont know wat to think
i dont wanna go through the same procedure again
i feel very...无奈
i need a hug =(
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
dear bloggie,
do u know how it feels when u realize ur nightmare's starting all over again?
about 3 years ago it happened to me
but the me during that time was indulged in happiness, that i didnt took notice
until when i fell out of it only the truth slammed me hard
for months the thing's been haunting me
daring me to go check up n face the truth
yet i didnt dare to as im afraid i will receive bad news
i was so afraid i was gonna die
yet i didnt care as i didnt want to live anymore
so i accepted it...
but it was all over before the new year
i was so so relieved that i didnt have to go through all that again
the operation room was icy cold
n the period when i drift from conciousness to subconciousness made me didnt wanna wake up ever again
n the pain that hit me when i woke up
i dont wanna repeat it again
this morning i was prepared to go to class
really prepared...showered, changed, wore lens, everything prepared...
then i noticed it
suddenly the world came crashing down on me again
why? what does it mean when it's recurring?
i thought it was removed...forever out of my life
never again to appear
i would never have to face it again
not so soon anyway...
but it's there...solid n concrete
i didnt know what to think
m i gonna go through the same procedure again?
or m i gonna die this time?
i will be facing it alone again...alone
with no one beside me...
i...felt so awful that i just skipped class
i thought i could just sleep again n when i wake up it'll be gone
just like a dream...
but no...im kidding myself aint i
it's still here...
what should i do?
Monday, October 13, 2008
dear bloggie,
after 2 weeks of stress, i feel so...aimless now =/
i mean...i suddenly can't remember what have i been doing before the mid-terms
although i dont want the dusk til dawn mugging anymore, feels like something's missing
i dont know what to do now in fact...
oh nooesss...i'm becoming a mugger aint i? =(
life is becoming so....dull?
u know few days ago i found out something...
though i thought i was long long over him
n im sure i've let go now
knowing that he has a new someone stirred something...bitter in my heart
*dont give me that look*
long over him....really
just...i dont know
anyway...im bored!
miss my nieces so much~!
see how cuteee~!! X3
Sunday, October 12, 2008
dear bloggie,
i saw something which made me sad.
then i suddenly had the mood to do this!
stole this from mich's blog.
here goes...
Time: 4:58am
Name: Christine
Sisters: 1
Brothers: 2
Shoe size: 8 *yup i have big foot*
Height: 170cm
Where do you live: currently SG
Favorite drinks: bacardi apple? =D n umm...hot chocolate XD
Favorite breakfast: yam rice from the stall near my house *although i dont eat the yam =X*
Have you ever been on a plane: yep
Swam in the ocean: yep...lurve the ocean ^^
Fallen asleep in school: hah! that's what i did in school everyday during sec school =X
Broken someone’s heart: i guess =(
Fell off your chair: lol...when i was young i like to swing chairs n yep...fell off a couple of times =X
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: uh huh...the feeling sucks.
Saved e-mails: important ones i guess?
What is your room like: messy =S
What’s right beside you: uhh...cabinet?
What is the last thing you ate: dim sum
Ever had
Chicken pox: nop =S
Sore throat: uh huh...when i do get it it's really bad =(
Stitches: i guess? once =X
Broken nose: nah...
Do you believe in love at first sight: i...guess? although i never experienced it
Like picnics: never tried...wouldnt mind though
Who was the last person you danced with: uhh...well...my friends?
Last made you smile: gosh...cant remember. im too sad now =( friend i guess
You last yelled at: i dont think i yelled for quite a while...does typing in CAPS on msn count? if yes then the same person who made me smile =X
Today did you
Talk to someone you like: no? i dont know if i even like anyone now =.=
Kissed anyone: my...bolster? X3
Get sick: luckily...no
Talked to an ex: i guess i dont keep in touch with them
Miss someone: yes. very. in fact is the one who made me sad =(
Best feeling in the world: being with someone u love?
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: not here...my poring is at home lol
What’s under your bed: uhh...my luggage?
What time is it now: 5.15am
Randoms
Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
sigh...the person who made me sad?
Do you have any siblings?
i just answered 1 sis n 2 bros
Do you want children?
yup...babies r shooo cute!
Do you smile often?
depends actually...when im happy i guess? but i think it's not that often =X
Do you like your hand-writing?
not really...quite ugly =(
Are your toenails painted?
nah...hardly ever
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in?
well...seldom sleep in other people's bed. my parents'?
What colour shirt are you wearing?
black.
What were you doing at 7:00pm yesterday?
uhh...eating dinner?
I can’t wait till…
i go to london!! =P
When did you cry last?
a while ago? =X
Are you a friendly person?
i m shy so i guess not? but if i know the person well then i guess...
Do you have any pets?
uhh...parents dont allow. although we did have a hamster for a while lol
Where is the person you have feelings for right now?
dont have feelings for anyone. although...sigh
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now?
uhh...nop. it didnt mean anything to him at that time
Do you sleep with the TV on?
no tv here =S
What are you doing right now?
doing this
Have you ever crawled through a window?
i dont think so...
Can you handle the truth?
hah! i'm trying to handle the truth now
Are you closer to your mother or father?
uhh...not close to either. but now, mom i guess
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
i dont think...i ever...really cried in front of anyone.
How many people can you say you’ve really loved?
besides the usual, only one.
Do you eat healthy?
nop! hahah...skipping breakfasts n lunches n sometimes dinner...no good. dont learn.
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?
although i would really like to have it now, unfortunately we didnt take any
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?
words that hurt...yes
How often do you go to church?
i dont go =X
If you’re having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?
no one? prolly nudge michelle to rant lol
Are you loud or quiet most of the time?
quiet...although with friends i can be rather loud
Are you confident?
ahhh....depends, most of the time no.
5 things I was doing 10 years ago
gosh...that's like when i was 9???
1. going to primary school?
2. crying alot
3. hating piano lessons
4. trying to make new friends cuz i was in a new school?
5. doing lots of questions my mom forced on me =X
5 snacks I enjoy
1. chocolates!!!!! <3
2. fried seaweed
3. sweets
4. chips
5. cookies
5 of my bad habits
1. bad sleeping hours
2. skipping meals
3. too lazy
4. stubborn
5. trusting people too easily?
5 places I have lived in
lived...as in?
1. klang
2. kepong
3. singapore
that's all =S
5 jobs I’ve had
uhhhhh.....i didnt really work much
1. promoter =.=
2. events crew
that's...the end!
im still sad =(
i shall go sleep...
New Look
X3
mah new skin...
i <3 it... =P
hope u like it too =)
Thursday, October 09, 2008
unmotivated
sigh...
one last night to study before my test tomorrow
yet...i dont feel the motivation anymore
now i'm trying hard...believe me...really trying HARD
but it just wouldnt go in!
cannot concentrate at all =(
i really wanna give up n just sleep
sigh..............
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
surprise!
dear bloggie,
i'm sooo lucky =D
i guess from my expression the outcome of the interview is quite predictable? lol
umm...no actually im not going to edinburgh, which is my 1st choice
but at least...
well...lemme start from the beginning yea =3
i was quite nervous for the interview today...
only having slept when dawn broke this morning...
n that i kept waking up every 2 hours cuz i dreamt that i was late =X
when i got there...i talked to a few ppl who was before me
only to find out that...they annouced the result during the interview @@"
the girl before me...she came out looking quite...stunned =/
n said that they offered her a swedish university which wasnt one of her choices
so i was thinking....shit
they were asking me bout my 2nd n 3rd choice...
well...my 2nd choice was actually a swedish uni...3rd choice king's college london
then my coordinator said...'u put king's college as 3rd choice? yao mou gao chorr ah?'
*her exact words...mind u...lol*
cuz king's college was a prestigious uni with very competitive allocation
so...i swapped both...
n so i was thinking...since king's college is more competitive than edinburgh
all the more i wouldnt get it right? =(
by then i really gave up hope
n i was thinking they prolly would offer me some weird uni
or maybe i wouldnt get at all
at that point of time i just refused to think ahead...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
so i walked in...feeling quite...
i also dunno how i was feeling that time
normal...i guess?
the 1st question they asked me was
'so, how do u think u performed during the group interview?'
'uhh...well, i think i did quite badly'
'n y is that so?'
'because i wasnt prepared well enough or research enough about edinburgh'
'u're right. so, unfortunately we weren't able to offer u edinburgh'
'...oh-kayy....'
*sigh.....oh well...what i expected aint it?*
but it was only like minutes into the interview n they hampered my hopes already
how m i gonna continue =(
at that point of time i really didnt want to think bout the outcome
just taking it as it comes...
surprisingly...i was quite relaxed
albeit sad...to find that im not going to go to edinburgh afterall
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'now, tell us about ur 2nd n 3rd choices'
so i told them about swapping the choices
n kinda explained i know it's quite hard to get king's college if i didnt put it as 1st choice
n i put the swedish uni cuz i wanted a chance at least
but then she told me to change cuz it's kinda ridiculous to put such a good uni as 3rd choice
and then...
'well, now we're deciding between u n another person. so u have a 50-50 chance of getting king's college. it's either u or him, tell us why we should choose u over him?'
*omg....i should just give up right? T.T*
so i crapped the usual stuff bout being an ambassador n promote nus n stuff
'did u ask around bout which answer we would like to hear'
'uhh...?'
'no lahh i think she just picked up the good answers from the group interview..hahah'
=X
then they asked a few more questions
n i answered quite...okay i guess?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
this time round they were quite...relaxed n fun
even made some....hard-to-believe comment bout something 0.o
i thought it's only among us students
didnt know the dean n staff jokes bout that too
my eyes were like >>> O.O
although i wanna nod 'yes yes!! LOL'
but quite inappropriate hahah...
many times i was answering then they gave comment
n they will start chatting among themselves n laughing
then i also 'errrr.....heheh'
so it was more like a...chatting session =X
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'okay so...we're willing to support ur application to king's college london'
O.O
*OMG?! really?!*
'r u happy now?'
'oh...thanks!'
and so that was the end of it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i still couldnt believe im going to go to london...
omg! quite...unbelievable
cuz....i always think i wouldnt be able to get
it's all just a dream
n now...it's becoming reality!
well...i still dont understand why though
more ppl apply for king's college than edinburgh
1 of the most competitive uni
im sure they dont have enough places to give away
my friends all couldnt believe it though =S
how come i can get a better uni than my 1st choice
oh well.........
dont need to care so much
as long as i get to go XD
weeee~!!
still cannot imagine that at this time next year i'll be in london
OMG!
must change my mindset
i'm going! XD
ahh...but damn expensive though...
oh heck...shant worry bout that now
for now....I need to STUDY!
gosh...spent so long blogging
last chance
dear bloggie,
i shouldn't be up so late
but the past few days i havent been sleeping earlier than 5am =X
for the test this coming friday, i just found out it's 40% of the total weightage
40%!!!!
i mean....it's too heavy for an assessment! T.T
only 10% difference compared to finals...
means this will really affect my final grade
goshh....i m so dead
usually i dont do well in my tests...at least i still have time to redeem myself during the finals
but not this time...
i've just started studying....!!!
*cries* T.T
btw, i have another sep interview tomorrow.
uhh...today actually
im scared. really scared >.<
considering that i screwed the last one...
i was thinking they would've scraped me off the list
it's my one last chance later...
if i screw this up too...i would definately not get
i mean...i know my chances of getting are very low now
but i have to at least fight for it =X
i dont know if i wouldnt wanna open my mouth again later =.=
but i guess i better be prepared
thing bout interviews are...
i can speak well if im really prepared n confident
but for this...
i am not confident see...
i know there r so many better ppl out there...y would they choose me over them?
plus...im not prepared at all...
makes it even worse. =(
so i'll definately screw this again...sigh...
oh well...if i dont care about the outcome
i wouldnt be that nervous i guess
but i guess...i better go read up more
i really really want to go >.<
wish me luck!
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
true friend test
influenced by michelle n siew lee =X
too bored studying so....
if u're free...just take for fun XD
How well do you know me?
http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/2003502
Scoreboard:
Create your own Friend Test here
Sunday, October 05, 2008
never-ending tests
dear bloggie,
u know i was kinda relieved after the 2 tests on friday
finally...no more stress everynight that i wouldnt be able to finish studying in time
well...good times doesnt last long =X
i have another test this friday
which, well...as always... i skipped more than half of the lectures...
okay...more like 3 quarter of the lectures =X
n i dont understand anything...!!
what's worse is that it's genetics~!
argh....hate genetics...
so so hard to understand...so many new things to learn =(
i was actually planning to rest on friday only n start studying on saturday
cuz weekends r the only time im really free...
but then i slacked off til now =X
n i dont think i have much time left...
what with the normal classes n assignments n projects i have to do T.T
sigh...n now i dont have the mood to study
feel so sleepy the whole day...
i just yawn everytime i stare at my notes
about the tests on friday...
i screwed my japanese this time...
u know for japanese 1 i still had some confidence that i would manage to score well for the module
but not anymore for japanese 2 =(
everything's suddenly so hard now...
for jap 1 it's like...i can understand n master it if i just read the books n practice
but now....no matter how much i read it's still confusing!
well...think im giving up now
no point putting so much effort when i dont think i can score well
might as well S/U it =X
as for stats....surprisingly, the test was easy
kay...bit too easy to believe
oh nooo...that doesnt make things easier for me
it's too easy, it became tricky!
must read the question few times to ensure there's no hidden meanings or wat sort behind =X
but heck! it's over now...
have to concentrate on genetics =(
urgh...hate the pure reading
my post nowadays kinda boring...
u know quite a few ppl's been asking me
'so, does he still teach u japanese now? how come i dont see him mentioned in ur posts anymore'
sadly, he left the uni...i dont know to where
nobody knows n im not so desperate as to ask other lecturers where he went =.="
oh well...not like i reeaaalllyy liked him or what...
just thinks that he's cute =)
n now ppl r saying that i change heart so fast =X
LOL...
cuz my msn personal message is 'don't look at me this way as im afraid i will fall for u'
uhh.....well.....
just some...random...cute...guy...
nothing special =P
my life's boring!
need some entertainment~!
bahh...shall concentrate on studying now
=(
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
tests
hello,
im in the middle of tests this week =(
very hectic.
i have 3 tests this week, 2 of which i only attended 2 out of 10 lectures.
have absolutely no clue about the module at all.
i am so dead.
plus i have a assignment due...today! n a presentation on friday.
sigh~
i had 1 test yesterday...
i did study during the recess week for the test
yet there's just too much to study!
too many freakin' enzymes til im confused...
the more i study the more i forget...
information overload =(
well...they announced the answers right after the test
not surprising, i did quite badly *sigh*
quite sad...i dont like the feeling that i do badly even though i studied for it
i mean...i learnt when i came to nus that
it doesnt mean that u will do well if u study hard
but still....=(
now 2 tests n presentation on friday...
argh....i'm just only starting to study~
hahahah....i should just give up right
dont need to waste time cuz i know i wont do well
stats! hate stats =(
n japanese! think no hope lol...
these few days im addicted to songs!
absolutely <3 jay's new album
im so gona get it when it's out...
sad that all the songs were leaked online =(
although i know it's wrong but...
i cant wait to hear the songs when it's just right in front of me
im still gona buy the album! =)
n ohh...<3 my new ringtone =P">
OST from hot shot...
the song's quite cool....
n the 1st time that ringtone rang...someone asked me for it! lol XD
kay i think im blabbing some nonsense...
cant believe today's a holiday n im not making full use of it!
havent even started studying yet.....
gahh....just like that the day's gona end soon =(
shall...go...try...studying...